The Female Side to Rape by Ejura Salihu

Last week's letter 'Dear Aunty Timi' was a heart's cry. If you haven't read it, please read HERE. That letter pictures the pain some have been forced to endure for many years. The scar is carried all through childhood to adulthood with little chance of total healing because the world is not listening to the cries. The muffled screams from a little girl next door while her body and innocence is taken from her forcefully by someone who should protect her, goes unnoticed because everyone is too busy to care. 

Scenarios may differ but the crime remains the same with the child growing up to be an adult with sad broken memories and a stolen childhood. As Miss J narrated her ordeal, the first thing I realised was how she seemed just as frightened as a little girl again, the broken trust still rang through her words. Her only question still remains 'Why Aunty Timi?' There are so many articles, stories out there about abusive uncles, but aunties rape too. It is harder to imagine and easier than you think for it to happen to any toddler. As a parent, when you need a maid, you feel safer getting a female maid since stories of male helps abusing girls is so rampant. A relative calls informing you of a planned visit and you heave a sigh of relief that its your younger sister. Your precious little daughter should be safe right? Hmmm...sadly that is not always the case. Aunties rape too! Female helps molest young girls too and even boys (we will talk about that some other day).

Dear Aunty Timi by Ejura Salihu

 It has been twenty years since the last time I saw you and it was a surprise to see you again today. However the surprise is not a pleasant one, it is one filled with anger and pain at a memory half forgotten. I remember feeling like you owed me something I could not ask for the day you left.

You came to me and asked for a hug and a kiss and I relented. Mummy rebuked me and I reluctantly obliged. I remember being angry with mum for days for that. How could she not see her precious little sister was defiling me? How could she not tell I was hurting? I did not understand why I felt like I was betraying the family by being molested by you. I felt naked, ashamed and angry.

Mummy always warned me against allowing boys to touch my wooha but she never said anything about girls or you so I was confused the first time you touched me and forced me to lick your wooha. I cried and begged and hurt when you put your finger in me but I couldn't tell mummy because I didn't know if you had a right to, you told me you had a right to, you said I was just a little girl and little girls obey orders. You lied, you betrayed me. You stayed for only a month but that short holiday changed the course of my life forever.

'Male Child Abuse Exists' says a Victim

For those who have asked us if boys do get abused, this is for you. Most activists have shied away from this topic, but it's time to shed more light on this. Boys also get raped/sexually abused, but it's not really heard about because it seems abnormal. A grown man has decided to share his own story. Read and be enlightened!

I was the first born of the family of 3 boys and I was the only boy when the incident happened -- my next younger brother was born a year plus later after the incident.

I was around 11-years-old then preparing for my entrance exam into secondary school. I will name her "Aunty S," she is my mum's younger sister. She came to stay with us because she could not continue to the University after her high school, she was registered into a boutique school by my parent.

What she did led to her exit from our family even though I don't understand the gravity then, but my parent's action saved me.

#Nigeria: Farmer Bags 15 years Imprisonment for Raping Minor in #Jigawa

Wonders shall never end! Apparently some farmers cultivate both crops and under aged girls, how despicable! Instead of brainstorming on strategies to help our agricultural sector, they are working on destroying a girl's future. We'll come say hello in the prison sir!  Read more on the farmer's story...

The Punch reports that a Hadejia High Court in Jigawa on Wednesday sentenced a 25-year-old farmer, Umar Yakubu, to 15-year imprisonment, without an option of fine, for raping an eight-year-old girl.

FIDA Advises Against Out-of-Court Settlement

Photo Credit: NAN

We totally agree with the Chairperson, International Federation of Women Lawyers, Bayelsa chapter, Mrs Pere Egbuson, who has urged rape victims to reject-out-of court settlement. We believe that out-of-court settlement is not only doing rape survivors no justice, it buys their voice.

Egbuson made the call in an interview with the News Agency of Nigeria in Yenagoa.

#SouthAfrica: Four Men Charged with Raping and Murdering Two Toddlers

I just saw this on BBC Africa (thanks to a reader who sent the link to me) and I was shocked! Two bodies of two girls, aged 2 and three, were found after being raped by five men! Violent crime rate in South Africa has been on the rise over the years and the rates of rape cases have always topped the chart. Children meet their untimely death because one man couldn't control his libido. This is something that should never happen to anybody's child.

Four men have been charged with the rape and murder of two toddlers in the South African township of Diepsloot, north of Johannesburg.

A fifth suspect was arrested on Friday after police issued an identikit photo.

His arrest sparked violent protests outside a police station in Diepsloot as hundreds of demonstrators demanded he be handed over to the crowd.

#Nigeria: 30YO Bags Three-Month Jail Term over Rape of Minor

I firmly do not support sentencing a sexual offender to a three months jail term. How will this judgement deter others from engaging in raping a girl child? How come murderers get more severe punishment for their acts while rapists get mere punishment? In order to fight rape in our society, we need stringent laws.

A Zone 2 Wuse Magistrates’ Court in Abuja last week, sentenced Seyi Balogun, 30, of Zehidu Village, Lugbe, Abuja, to three months in prison for sexually assaulting a minor.

The Senior Magistrate, Mrs. Grace Adebayo-Eisape, sentenced Balogun without an option of fine.

Adebayo-Sisape condemned the action of the convict and said the sentence was to deter others.

#Nigeria –– A Court in #Makurdi Remands Applicant in Prison

A Makurdi Magistrates’ Court on Wednesday remanded an applicant, Daniel Iorkua, 26, in prison over an allegation that he raped an 11-year-old girl.

Iorkua, who lived in Nyon Layout, Gboko Road, was ordered to be remanded in prison custody after the court heard the prosecution.

The prosecuting police officer, Inspector Moses Akoo, told the court that one Terna Fakaa had reported the case at the State Criminal Investigation Department, Makurdi, on September 20, 2013.

He said that the complainant stated that the accused, who was his neighbour, forcefully had sexual intercourse with his 11-year-old ward.

#Endchildmarriage –– The Story of a Child Bride in #Chad

My name is Geneviève Vroumdam, I am 12 years old. Three years ago, I was forced into an early marriage.

My older sister was married to a friend of our father’s, an old man who neared his 70th birthday. She was only 15. One day, she just took off. She could no longer take this loveless marriage. She ran far away from us, from our village, and married a young man of her own choosing.

When a bride leaves, however, it is tradition for the family to return her dowry. And what a large dowry it was! My dad owed them seven cows. Of course, he could not afford such a sum, at least not right away.

#Nigeria –– Man, 35, in Court for Raping 9YO in Ibadan

Photo credit: News Naij

An Ibadan High Court, yesterday, remanded a 35-year-old man, Segun Majeed, in prison over alleged rape.

The prosecutor, Mrs Olumide Ojo, told the court that the defendant allegedly raped a nine-year-old girl on May 29 2012, at the ArmyBarracksPrimary School, Iwo Road, Ibadan.

#Nigeria –– How We Can Bring an End to Child Rape by Victoria Ibiwoye

 

In line with our hashtag #ReasonstoEndRape discussion on twitter today, one of our members has written some of her views on how rape can be stopped. It's a brilliant idea and I implore you to read it. Feel free to commend her effort by dropping your thoughts in the comment box.

Apart from being a friend to Ayo, I am a great fan of Ayodeji Osowobi's blog and I hope to support her in every way I can :).

I have watched as survivors of rape express their story with so much bitterness and anger and we may never fully understand what goes on after then. To us, it is just another sad story but to them, it is a life altered and only a few live on, others are killed inside by the torture and embarrassment.

#Nigeria –– 39YO Bricklayer Rapes Daughter

Not again! Just recently, we posted about a man having carnal knowledge of his daughters (see the story here), this is another recent case of a man raping his own child? I thought fathers ought to protect their daughters from sexual assaults, why are they the ones now caught in the act? Fathers, don't you have a conscience and the fear of God? This is a call to all the fathers out there, please stop this act and to all the young chaps (the soon to be fathers), please for God sakes be disciplined and have the fear of God. 

Nominate ayodejiosowobi.blogspot.com for "Best New Blog" Category In the 2013 Nigerian Blogs Awards

Hello everyone! Great News!!! Our blog has been nominated by one of our readers for the "Best New Blog" category in the Nigerian Blog Awards 2013. We are glad you love our work and thought us worthy to be nominated for an award! Show the world what the blog is about and why you read it daily by nominating us. Please continue to see how you can nominate us as well. We really need you to nominate us.

Barbaric! Father Claims He Had Sex with His Daughters to Save Them from Premature Death

                                  

It is appalling when it is being said that a full grown man rapes an innocent girl. What then can we say of a father who believes in some archaic tradition of sleeping with his daughters to prevent premature death. Yes, his very own blood! The shocking revelation is when his wife, the biological mother of these children, asked that he shouldn't be prosecuted as this is a family matter! Mo gbe! Read the full story...