Featured Post: #Rape is About Power, Not Dress Style by SAMIRA SAWLANI (@samirasawlani)

One would think that a youth affairs minister in any country would be an individual who could be held up as an example to all those youngsters that he or she serves.

According to a Daily Monitor article, Minister Kibuule (a Ugandan Minister) suggests that when a rape is reported, the police should assess how the victim was dressed.

Should it be found that she was wearing miniskirts, tight jeans, bikinis or other ‘indecent’ items, the aggressor should be freed. This trend of ‘victim blaming’ has become a sickness which seems to have taken over the world.

For many years civil society organisations, the media and survivors of rape have spoken out about the treatment by authorities and the police, of women who report a rape.

Rose, (name changed), is 32. Weeks before she was due to get married, she boarded a taxi home at 9pm. as she alighted and began the two-minute walk to her house, three men followed her and began making inappropriate remarks.

One put his hand on her mouth and pulled her into the bush on the side of the road. What followed was a harrowing ordeal where she was pushed to the ground, the first man forcing himself upon her, his weight making it impossible for her to move while his hand covered her mouth.

Opinion Ed: The 'Beastly' Abusers by @AbimbolaAbiolaa

Given the recent topics of conversations and the outpouring of comments, the subject of rape, spousal violence and abuse comes up frequently on social media platforms. I think that there are a lot of places people come from on the subjects, especially labeling perpetrators as beasts/monsters. So I thought I'd do a little polling with my own interpretation.

Now one of the things that I sometimes struggle with -- and I'm sure that I'm not alone -- is the way that we tend to dehumanize the perpetrators of violence. It's something that I've noticed in the past, and I would not to do it anymore, but it still happens. There's a tendency in conversations about abuse to start thinking of the perpetrators as beasts. It's a very intentional sentiment, there are plenty of sexist, transphobic, homophobic, or otherwise bigoted progressives.

The fact is, even the best of us are only human. Equally important: even the worst of us are human.

Victim Blaming Sends Mixed Messages to Perpetrators by Abimbola Abiola

On a radio talk show centred on rape, a caller who identified himself as a lawyer and rape and domestic abuse advocate shared a rape case about a girl who was gang raped at a party.

"I mean, she must be very stupid to go to the party in the first place" He said.

Several callers supported the lawyer's statement, some said she deserved it, after all a reasonable girl would know not to attend a night party hence she was to blame. Two callers even referred to the victim as 'foolish girl'. None of them bothered to ask/mentioned her rapists. This caught me off guard.

So, Lately I've been thinking about these laments against 'stupid' or 'foolish' victims by people who claim to be against rape and domestic abuse. These laments are at best hopelessly naive. At worst, they are callous statements which support rape and domestic abuse and help perpetrators justify or minimize their actions.

Typically there is more disdain in these laments directed at victims and potential victims that gets directed at perpetrators and potential perpetrators. When they get called on this, they will often justify directing their harshest statements at victims by labelling perpetrators as monsters incapable of learning.

Violet by MissLara Oriye

"Leave me alone" she screamed. As she pulled the remaining of her shredded clothes to cover her naked body. "I begged you" she yelled "I did but you chose to do it anyway". "You treat me like shit and that's not cool". "Just so you know, this is the last time you will ever see me naked its over I'm leaving this marriage!

Violet motioned toward her closet she began to pick her clothes and dump into a suit case almost blindly. She decided to move in with her aunt up the street for some time.

She heard the door slam! " I will kill you" bobo shouted, I will kill you before you make a Mockery of me, the world will see me as a weak guy who cannot control his woman, you go nowhere except I say so. I'm not done using you when I am, I will let you know"!

Update: Lebanese Man Who Kicked Pregnant Employee in the Stomach Has Been Arrested

We reported some days back that President Jonathan ordered for the investigation of the case of a Lebanese boss, who abused his Nigerian employee (read HERE). This is an update of the situation.

The Lagos State Police Command on Friday arrested Kaveh Noine, a manager with Yoppan Printing Company, for allegedly kicking his pregnant subordinate, Alexandra Ossai, in the stomach. The incident which occurred 2 weeks ago was said to have caused the loss of the victim’s pregnancy.

It was reported that Noine -- a Lebanese -- reportedly travelled out of the country when policemen attached to the Area F Police Division, initially went to the company to invite him for questioning on Tuesday.

Be an Advocate for Women. Women #SpeakOut!

 Violence against women in any form is a crime! Be it verbal or physical assault. The moment he insults you, calls you names, or makes you feel any less of yourself, That's "ABUSE". You're being emotionally beaten. No woman, no girl, no wife, no partner, no girlfriend should EVER, EVER put up with that. If you are a victim of these kinds of abuse, or if you know someone who is being abused, please speak to us. Send us an email: Standtoendrape@gmail.com.

Please spread the word.

Thank you!

He Raped Me -- Hidden Voices

This video explains what women have gone and still go through. This is giving a voice to the victims of Rape and Domestic Violence. We hope this will touch you and spur you to join us in this fight to #EndRape and eliminate all forms of #ViolenceagainstWomen. 

What Lies Beneath

When (the honourable) Arome Ameh sent this story to me *wink*, I just couldn't help but share it with you. This is the ordeal of a lady who saw all the signs, but ignored it. Read more to know what happened next.

My name is Chizoba, a light skinned,well cultured, well educated and gorgeous lady in my early 30′s.
Please listen to me as I tell my story.

Zizi as I was fondly called by family and close friends was a happy-go-lucky girl with a good sense of style, would party hard with friends and study hard for classes, tests and all. truly very smart street-sharp but unknown to my friends except Bianca, I was still a virgin.

It was a sunny afternoon, sometime in 2004, I was running late for a lecture so I picked up my pen and notepad, ran off, got a bike, and we were there in less than 10 minutes, I got off the bike, checked for my money and found none. Too embarrassed for words but I had to do something fast before the bike rider would. Tried to plead before a guy stepped in and saved me from what would have been an unpleasant scene.

35 YO Man Tears His 11YO Daughter’s Hymen, Destroys Her Vulva & Pelvis During Rape

                                   

My people abeg, which kain punishment make we give this man biko? How wicked can a man be? How can one be so ruthless as to destroying one's very own daughter! Really? Please read more and share your thoughts with us. 

The Nigerian Tribune has reported that the Osun State Police Command has arrested a 35-year-old vulcaniser, Ademola Simiyu, of Ile Olode in Ikoyi for allegedly defiling his 11-year-old daughter.

Simiyu, a father of three, allegedly committed the act on Wednesday, October 23, when he woke up the girl at about 12 midnight while she was sleeping with her siblings and forcefully had carnal knowledge of her.

#Nigeria: Farmer Bags 15 years Imprisonment for Raping Minor in #Jigawa

Wonders shall never end! Apparently some farmers cultivate both crops and under aged girls, how despicable! Instead of brainstorming on strategies to help our agricultural sector, they are working on destroying a girl's future. We'll come say hello in the prison sir!  Read more on the farmer's story...

The Punch reports that a Hadejia High Court in Jigawa on Wednesday sentenced a 25-year-old farmer, Umar Yakubu, to 15-year imprisonment, without an option of fine, for raping an eight-year-old girl.

Raping a Child of Her Innocence

I enjoy the early morning inspirations that come to me on days like this. Well, this doesn't occur all that often but whenever it comes, it's always something worth writing about and worth sharing.

The subject that I am very concerned about today is how some certain people in the society rape chidren of their innocence; directly or indirectly.

To do this directly is what we are very familiar about; 'Rape'.

However, my buttress is on how the average child is being raped of her innocence indirectly at a stage too early.

The society of today has come to live so comfortably that we often forget our moral ethics. Allow me explain further:

#Nigeria: 30YO Bags Three-Month Jail Term over Rape of Minor

I firmly do not support sentencing a sexual offender to a three months jail term. How will this judgement deter others from engaging in raping a girl child? How come murderers get more severe punishment for their acts while rapists get mere punishment? In order to fight rape in our society, we need stringent laws.

A Zone 2 Wuse Magistrates’ Court in Abuja last week, sentenced Seyi Balogun, 30, of Zehidu Village, Lugbe, Abuja, to three months in prison for sexually assaulting a minor.

The Senior Magistrate, Mrs. Grace Adebayo-Eisape, sentenced Balogun without an option of fine.

Adebayo-Sisape condemned the action of the convict and said the sentence was to deter others.

#Nigeria: Alleged Rapes in ‘Flood Camps’ Raise Vulnerability of Nigerian girls

Reports of rapes in some camps for people displaced by the series of high profile floods across the country may have caused heightened concerns over the health and social conditions of young girls in the camps.

This has resulted in a series of inquest by some organizations including the National Human Rights Commission (NHRC) which Daily Independent learnt has already conducted an assessment of the human rights situation in Benue, being one of the states that have reportedly recorded cases of such incidence.

Although, the Benue State Commissioner for Health, Dr. Oduen Abunku, had stated in a phone interview with Daily Independent that no untoward incident has been reported in any of the camps in Benue, local media reports may have suggested the contrary.

In October, reports in the local media disclosed that no fewer than 16 young girls were raped by miscreants who sneaked into four of the camp. But the government had denied this, labeling it as a concoction of the media.