Poem on #Rape: For Her by Fatou Wurie (@theFatoublog)

FOR HER

This poem is for the girl who like a missing tooth was invisibly visible, 

Left on the sidewalk to cascade heated tears so hard it made sun skip shine for the day. 

This poem is for the girl who is too thick, so slick, to thin, to smart, to pretty, too un-pretty too colored, too black, too white, too brown, too woman all too soon. 

This poem is for the girl whose front tooth like the future that lies between the past and present stood gaped and half full. 

This poem is for the girl whose color was too dark like the marmite spread her mama would saturate on white bread, 

Her mahogany skin not wanted

Shunned in the nicest way possible 

Exotic but not normal Tolerated but not honored

Accepted but not loved

This poem is for her bleached dreams. 

- 

These words are for the girl whose body was too supple and refined

a girl’s soul cased in a woman’s body 

as he rubbed himself on her insiders 

softly at first, leisurely as he pleasured him self-only.

Kneaded her tits like bread-dough,

divided her legs like the second coming of Moses between red waters for his pleasure-only. 

Ending Violence: Connecting the Dots Between Young African Women and Development

I attended a social function just last Wednesday in the Senegalese capital, Dakar. The event was one that you could describe as having successfully attracted under one roof an eclectic group of people: local politicians, artists, traditional leaders, entrepreneurs, etc.

I was mingling with guests and doing the usual social networking, and I was barely paying attention to the musicians when I heard the voice of the lead singer call for attention.

"We must care about the well being of our daughters, sisters, wives and mothers. Violence against women and girls is not an option because we need them in building our nation. So I dedicate my next song…”

And with that, he went on singing.

Cultural Context of Domestic Violence amongst Africans in the Diaspora

Relationships and family lives are often glossed up by society and the media as though that is the reality for everyone, yet if we really held the mirror closer against our own society, a disturbing picture of abuse and sometimes violent reality emerges. In the midst of all this are children, who in the absence of any structured and meaningful love and guidance at home, go on to develop mal-adaptive behaviors that will shape their lives and personalities as they develop.

In turn parents may develop poor, authoritative parenting skills, or plain abuse and neglect as the ripple effect of this trauma begins to manifest itself into complex family problems. Some of the effects of this trauma will have lifetime effects and reproduce themselves in future generations.

Over the years I have heard comments such as ‘why doesn’t she just leave’ or stereotypical comments such as ‘that’s how African men treat women.’ Some of these comments are silent; some come from within ourselves, and some from within our own African communities. Although there is a wide body of initiatives and guidelines to further our knowledge on domestic violence, in fact very little is known or has been explored about the context in which African women and men suffer domestic violence.

Somalia Court Sentences "Rape Victim"

This is unbelievable! A rape victim was sentenced to six months imprisonment and she's not allowed to leave Mogadishu! Crazy right? Read more...

According to BBC News, a 19-year-old woman who alleged she was raped has been given a suspended jail sentence by a court in Somalia.

The woman, who spent three weeks in pre-trial detention, was convicted of defamation and lying and told she could not leave Mogadishu. A journalist who reported her story was also convicted of the same offence.

The two men accused of raping the woman have not been brought before a court.

The Somali government previously said sexual violence was unacceptable.

Uganda: Rapists must be Hanged or Castrated says Ugandan Minister

The Ugandan Government is taking a bold step in ending rape. It has been stated that people convicted of rape and defilement in Uganda face the prospect of being castrated or spending the rest of their lives behind bars, were a minister from the East African nation get her way.

Uganda's Minister of Gender Labour and Development, Mary Karooro Okurut and some women activists say rape cases are on the increase and the only way to deter criminals is by castrating them.

Sex Education: Question of the Day!

My people, please where did she go wrong??? Leave your comments please!

Video: Sexually Abused Children in Light of Hope Orphanage Cry Out for Justice!

       

Please click HERE to watch the video

Children in Light of Hope Orphanage are being sexually abused by the Director of the Orphanage (who they call 'Pastor,' but at this point, we don't care!) Mr Atunde. Two children from the orphanage reported that Mr Atunde had sexually abused them for more than 3 years. The man was arrested and the children taken out of the orphanage. The case is presently in court, but it seems like nothing is being done. Barely two weeks after Project Alert, an organization advocating against violence against women and girls, took the girls in their shelter, the Ogun State government returned the girls back to the (abusive) shelter on some baseless reasons. Mr Tunde, who sexually abuses these girls in his orphanage has been granted bail (by who?) and is now punishing these girls for speaking out. This sexual abuser walks free, while the Ogun State Government Ministry of Women Affairs is quite about the case. Project Alert has asked us to help with creating more awareness about the case and we implore you to help us in this fight for JUSTICE! Please join us in screaming out loud on Facebook, Twitter and in the media to ensure that justice is served. Suggestions on plausible tactics to use will be very much appreciated. Thank you!

An Open Letter to Men

Dear men,

God made you strong, prestigious, courageous and tolerant; you are independent, you strive to make it, and you never get tired of working hard because you know you have no one to rely on but God. You have strength in you that cannot be found in any woman. I cannot overemphasize how uniquely you have been made by the creator. That is why you dominate more, God made you the leader!

I am not writing this letter just to praise you but to remind you of who you are. You are not weak but strong. It appears that many men have lost their strength and prestige. I know exactly what I am mean by that, you will understand better as you read further. If you are a man and you can't overlook certain things and learn to forgive, you might have made some mistakes by misusing the strength God has given to you.

#Nigeria: Two brothers Remanded in Prison for Raping 14YO Girl in #Osun

An Osogbo chief magistrates’ court on Wednesday ordered the remand of two brothers for abducting and raping a 14-year-old girl.

The brothers, Feyisola Olatunji, 25, and Olabode Olatunji, 28, allegedly conspired and committed the offences on October 12, 2013 at about 9.45 p.m. at the Old Governor’s office area in Osogbo.

The police prosecutor, Inspector Wilson Mereti, told the court that the accused persons committed the offences by kidnapping their victim and unlawfully had carnal knowledge of her.

Sex Education and Prevention Tips Part 1

So guys, this are tips for both mothers, fathers and their children. Let us do what is right so our children won't see what we are doing and want to practice it with someone!

#1: Warn your girl child never to sit on anyone's laps no matter the situation including uncles.

#2: Avoid getting dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old. Learn to excuse yourself.

#3: If you have to hire a house-help, please kindly take them for HIV screening to determine their HIV status, properly interview them and make up your mind to treat them well.

Things to Say to Someone Who Has Been Raped

Hello guys, in line with other articles on how to help rape survivors read HERE and HERE, this is about things you should say to a rape survivor. Using these words helps them and also shows that you understand what they have been through. Use them, abuse them (you are only permitted to abuse in this case, lol!) and help someone out there. Have a fab week!

Words to say...

How to Recover from a Rape/Sexual Assault

When a person is raped or sexually assaulted, his or her world is turned upside down. Not only has he or she been violated in the most intimate way possible, he or she has to heal from the assault. But...how? Society is still afraid to talk openly about a rape or sexual assault; people may not know how to approach the rape victim - afraid to say the wrong thing.

Every person who has been sexually violated responds differently to the crime - some become horribly depressed while others become very angry. All emotions are fair responses to a rape or sexual assault.

Here are a list of tips for talking to a rape victim as well as how to help yourself recover from a rape or sexual assault. Note that for the purposes of this resource, we are using rape and sexual assault interchangeably.

                              How To Recover From A Rape/Sexual Assault:

If you have been the victim of a rape or sexual assault, you may not know how to feel normal again. You may feel that the emotional pain of a rape or sexual assault will never go away. You may feel shame, depression, anxiety and fear after the attack. No matter how you feel, know that things will become better, you will learn to heal, and life will go on in your new normal.

Here are some tips for recovering from a rape or sexual assault:

Share Your Story with Us!

Hello everyone. Thanks for your support! If you are a rape survivor or if you know anyone who is, please share your/their story with us. We want to use your survival story to inspire others. We promise to be discreet if you need us to; we don't mind changing your name, location of incidence and other vital information. Please feel safe with us, we have your interest at heart always. Send your stories to ayodejiosowobi@gmail.com. We will be waiting to hear from you. 

Much love from all of us at Stand to End Rape/STER.

Are You a Real Man?

The question why do (some) men rape has always been on mind. Is it to satisfy their sexual urge or just an act to punish women? Is it for revenge or an act of wickedness? Some of you rape to prove to yourselves that you are a man. Whatever the numerous reasons may be; indecent dressing, refusal of proposal and so on, no woman deserves to be raped.

Rape in its simplest form is a lifetime scar that stays on the survivor's mind. Rape makes the victim feel worthless. Even if they want to brush past it and move on with life, it is difficult sometimes when they think recollect the face of the man, who took advantage of them. Bravery sometimes cannot erase the voice of the rapist, which still lingers in one's head.

You might rape a girl today and think that's all about it, have you thought of the possibilities of the girl getting pregnant? Did you for one second think of your seed growing in the belly of a woman you raped? Will you be man enough in the future to tell your son/daughter how he or she was procreated? I guess not!

When some men realize their evil deed, they use the typical –– I am sorry. Do you just expect your "I'm sorry, it was the devil" speech to correct the past? Have you ever wondered if that victim ever survived the experience? Do you know if your action led to them committing suicide or going into (mental) depression? Will you be bold to say in future, "I was one of those who did what was right in my lifetime?" These are the questions I want you to think about the next time the thought to rape a girl comes to mind.

This might sound like a cliche, but I am very sure you remember 'karma.' Even if you don't eventually have a daughter, your son might. Imagine the hurt you will feel if someone took advantage of her (your daughter or granddaughter) and ruined her life. If you don't want your daughter, daughter-in-law or grandchild's life to be ruined, I suggest you don't ruin others'.

If you take pleasure in raping a girl, be warned and please desist from such acts. 

#Nigeria Has a Rape Culture Too

Since I heard about the gang rape of a 23-year-old woman in Delhi,India has been on my mind. The woman was on her way home from the cinema with a male friend when they were attacked on a bus. Her injures were so severe the doctors had to remove parts of her intestine to stop the infection and try to save her life. Though she battled to stay alive, she died on 28 December. This incident has provoked a series of angry protests in Delhi and across India as men and women from various backgrounds, castes and religions hit the streets to demand safer living space for women. The fact that it is the first time in the history of India when people were out on the streets on the issue of gender signals an important paradigm shift on national discourse of sex, sexuality and rights of women.

The first time I read the story, I quickly shrugged it off to shield my consciousness from imagining what the victim went through. Yet, the savagery of the act, the use of a rusty metal rod to brutalise her insides, still haunts me. A lot has been written about this incident and anything worth saying has been said. However, I'm writing this in the Nigerian context and violation for the female body in mind. What would have happened if this incident happened in, say, Lagos or Abuja? Let me tell you what would happen. Nothing.

Rape: Muslim Lawyers in #Nigeria Raise Alarm

I'm glad we are not religion biased on this issue and we are all uniting to fight this menace –– rape –– in our society.

The Muslim Lawyers Association of Nigeria (MULAN) has expressed concern over the increasing wave of rape cases in Jigawa State, a situation the association said, needs to be tackled by authorities and other stakeholders.

The state chairman of the association, Gausu Ahmad, made the disclosure during a roundtable organized by the group at state secretariat, Dutse, recently.

He said at the moment, there were over 30 rape cases currently being prosecuted in courts throughout the state.

Gausu added that “there are about 12 pending investigation and legal advise; not to mention those that already been concluded successfully with convictions.”