Real Rape: What Nobody is Telling You

He ignored me. He betrayed me. He broke me into a million pieces. It was as if someone had cut me open, slashed deeply into each of my organs and stitched me back up again to live a nightmare-bleeding from the inside out. I didn’t know I had become a statistic for a crime that you never hear about.

We, as a society, hear the word rape and picture a woman being attacked in a dark alley by some drifter. We, as media-educated drones, envision a college co-ed going to a party and being assaulted by a gang of frat boys. We, as women, imagine some sicko holding a knife to our throats to get what he wants. Is that rape? You bet. But, all those scenarios account only a few percentage of the cases reported.

That leaves 72%* of rapes that don’t fit the stereotype. Huh? How can we not know what most rapes are like? That doesn’t make any sense. What we know as rape isn’t the majority. Why? How can it be that so many rapes committed aren’t what we know rape to be? No one wants to talk about real rape. No one wants to put it out there for discussion. No one wants to admit that our society has a large majority of rapes that are unspeakable, let alone unthinkable. Or even worse, society just doesn’t think the majority is as bad as the stereotype. If that’s the case, we’re dead wrong-every last one of us.

Rape: The New Joke by Ejura Salihu

Some days ago, another young lady's life was changed forever. She was betrayed, raped and humiliated on social media. Her name is Jada and she lives in houston, but there is a Jada on every street in Nigeria. We might not see their nudity and assault posted online by their attackers but they exist, shamed and alone. Jada's humiliation didn't stop when the video went viral unfortunately. Instead of sympathy, cyberbullies all over the world continued to humiliate her further and mock her pain with #Jadapose and all sorts of mocking tweets. I have seen a lot of tweets that are nothing short of condescending to the young girl with many mocking her and claiming 'she must have enjoyed it' another one stated 'she got drunk so what did she expect.' I was repulsed.

It dawned on me that rape activists exist, people who think rape is an exaggeration, a norm, a right and a joke, yeah believe it, some people think it is funny. People who believe if a girl is drunk or in a helpless situation then its only natural she should be raped. No one should be subjected to the inhumane treatment of rape. It is her body, no one should take it from her without her consent, no one should humiliate her body by posting them online, no one owns Jada's body except her. Jada is asking for justice, she deserves justice to heal and move on, so does every young girl stripped of innocence by monsters in sheep clothing. Let's speak for Jada and all victims of rape. Our future children should be born into a rape free world. I hope the perpetrators are caught and made to pay for their crimes. It might not take away the hurt but it is a good place to start. #JusticeforJada #StandtoEndRape

Rape: A Time Bomb Yet to be Defused (Part 2)

Having successfully dealt with the increasing tenor of rape in Nigeria in RAPE: A TIME BOMB WAITING TO BE DEFUSED (read HERE), this article tends to focus on the effects of rape on victims and some hopes to them. The first thing that comes to a girl’s mind during rape or an attempted rape is pregnancy and the fear of contracting any sexually transmitted disease. This tear jerker state usually leave the person in a confused, pitiable and often times, a defenceless state. After losing her dignity and self-esteem, the victim of rape goes through intense and most times unpredictable emotions.

This acute phase is usually characterised with the victim’s inner denial that the assault never occurred. This way, she tries to convince herself that she was not raped. She also experiences flash backs, nail biting dreams or nightmares, anxiety, feelings of humiliation, shame, and a strong desire to disconnect herself from the victim. Psychologists call this victim blaming. She could be blamed for flirting and dressing provocatively. She is usually scared of being alone, hardly gets settled in a crowd and finds it difficult to relate with the opposite sex. If she does, she could be domineering and rude.

He Raped Me -- Hidden Voices

This video explains what women have gone and still go through. This is giving a voice to the victims of Rape and Domestic Violence. We hope this will touch you and spur you to join us in this fight to #EndRape and eliminate all forms of #ViolenceagainstWomen. 

#Nigeria: Senators Seek Stringent Punishment for Rapists

I was really excited when I got information that the Senate yesterday advocated for stiffer punishment on perpetrators of sexual assault as the Sexual Offence Bill, which was sponsored by Senator Chris Anyanwu passed the second reading.

This is a great step in the right direction and it's great to see that some senators see the need to enact a law that will deal with sexual violence in Nigeria. In her remarks, senator Anyanwu, said her bill spoke volume of the high rate of immorality in the society and demanded the creation of a unit within the Nigerian Police Force (that will hopefully function) where trained professionals would ensure the preservation of the rights of humanity. She urged the Senate to support the passage of the law to protect women.

Lampedusa Boat Tragedy: Migrants; Raped and Tortured

The tragedy has not stopped migrants boarding unseaworthy boats in the hope of reaching Europe

BBC reports that, people traffickers tortured and raped African migrants whose boat later sank off Lampedusa with the loss of more than 360 lives, Italian police say.

The police have arrested a Somali man on Lampedusa accused of committing crimes with the armed gang.

Most of the victims on 3 October were Eritreans and Somalis. Their fishing boat capsized near Lampedusa, a tiny Italian island off North Africa.

Grannies Acquire Self-Defence Skills In #Kenya

Kenyan grannies acquire self-defence skills - Africa - Al Jazeera English


According to a video recently released by Al Jazeera, Kenyan women apparently were tired of being the victims of crime and learned self-defence to protect themselves.

Not an uncommon story, perhaps, but in this case they were a group of elderly women in a shanty town in Kenya.

This is a great self-defence mechanism Kenyan women have taken. It is high time the Nigerian government or better still, the so-called NGOs advocating for rape survivors in Nigeria, stepped up and learn from other countries. It wouldn't cost that much to help women and girls acquire basic self-defence skills that will help them fight back, when a rapist approaches them. It will be a funny sight to see a girl child whoop the ass of someone who intended to rape. At Stand to #EndRape (STER), our aim is to teach girls basic self-defence skills (for free), which will help reduce the rates of rape cases in Nigeria.