Date Rape: "Be Sensitized, Don't Be a Victim" By Aderemi Adesoji

Simply put, one of the worst things that can happen to a lady is RAPE. Yes, this is not gainsaying or any such thing. Just ask any victim and they’ll tell you how harrowing the experience was (for some, it never goes away).

While evil men, and sometimes women, device schemes to unnecessarily ruin people’s lives. We have to help the cause by enlightening our women folk on the concept of rape, and measures to be taken to avoid being a victim.

Rape is defined by the Oxford dictionary as “The crime, typically committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with the offender against their will.”

Rape comes in different forms, examples of which are Date rape, Spousal rape, Child rape, Statutory rape, Prison rape, War rape, Corrective rape, Incestual rape...

This article is focusing on Date rape.

"I Was Raped 13 Years Ago, But It's Time to Break the Silence," says BIDEMI

It's very important that more and more people #SpeakOut. Sharing your story is a step towards getting your healing... Today on the blog, I will be sharing the story of a lady, who was abused 13 years ago and yet relives the incident in her head daily.

Bidemi says her rapist ''OLUKUNLE KOLEOSO IS NOW A CUSTOMS OFFICER WHO HAS BEEN EMPOWERED WITH A UNIFORM AND A GUN, THE THOUGHT OF WHAT HE possibly CAN DO WITH IT SENDS SHRILL DOWN MY SPINES.''

She said watching my Moments With Mo session helped her find her voice... She sent this to me and I thought I should share this (with her permission of course).

Read more below...

‘Forgive me, it’s my first time’: Man, 62, Pleads After Raping 7 YO Girl

There is always a first time to everything they say, but some things have an exception. It's unforgivable when a 62-year-old man (in his right mind) rapes a 7-year-old girl.

Boniface Ankwuli, 62, who was arrested by the Taraba State police on suspicion of rape has been found guilty of the charges against him. He was sentenced yesterday to six years in prison, before an Upper Area Court in Jalingo, the state capital.

Mr. Ankwuli admitted that he had raped the 7-year-old victim and he pleaded with the court to be 

lenient with him as it was his first offence. 

Letters from the Grave: I Was Raped

Six weeks ago, I committed suicide by drinking a poisonous concoction. The trauma of having been raped by a young man who attacked our house and robbed us of most of our valuables was just too much to bare.

Now, it is as if I am a child who is frightened of the dark. A light has to be left on all night whiles I sleep. The monstrous bastard that raped me, I don’t know his name and I doubt I ever will. I don’t believe that they will catch him, though they claim to be pretty confident.

When I think about that night, which, most of the time, I can hardly bear to do, it all, always, seems like a movie. Not like a dream or a nightmare, not as close or as vivid as that, but like a movie, which I saw several years ago, on a long, long-distance plane journey. But thinking about it, oddly, doesn’t hurt.

How he got access into the main house and made his way into my bedroom is still a mystery. The man who raped me was a young, dark-skinned man, in I guess, his mid-twenties. He had what I would describe as a “Westernised” accent. He was of medium height and had high cheekbones and lazy-looking eyes. His eyes looked like that of a cat. I like cats, but I didn’t like him. He was wearing a dark top of some kind and what looked like black jeans. He had a cap on his head. I had never seen him before in my life.

He woke me up by hitting me in the face. I don’t remember feeling any pain. Perhaps the fear blocked it out. I screamed briefly and then he turned on the TV. I couldn’t understand what was happening. I said to him, “How did you get in?” because I knew that I had not left any doors or windows unlocked.

Survivor: 'I wanted to end my life, now I have more to live for'

I don't know if I am writing right, but somewhere I could find the strength. There is no joy about being raped, it is the most traumatic thing anyone can experience. My body has been through so much.

I hope people really know that rape victims are going through a lot. While some people and organizations are working hard to stop the stigmatization on rape victims, some people are ready to keep the stigmatization going.

RAPE SURVIVORS, you have to brace yourself for the reaction you will get from people, you will lose friends, family, people will talk badly about you, they will stay away from. I experienced all these. Some people wish they have the courage to #SpeakOut, but are really scared of what people will say.

THE REAL VICTIM

This is intended to educate people on who really is the victim in a rape situation. Please read and let us know what you think. This was written by +Nonso Anyasi, a man who has joined us in fighting this menace in #Nigeria. Read more...

We hear stories of young girls being raped every day.

We see pictures of ladies; assaulted, battered and bruised.

Girls, whom a future so bright lay

Cut short by maniacs walking in trousers

Who should be in the zoo; or best without clothes.

‘Cause that’s where they belong- amongst relatives.

You see a girl clothed, and hormones rage.

Your mind plays tricks upon your brain

Your eyes wander on a journey of discovery

Aided by your wild imagination, and assisted by your target

A theory forms, which you quickly discard.

You are after all a gentleman.

Every Man Is a Rapist If... vs Every Man Is a Rapist: Correcting the Misconception

There has been a couple of derogatory messages with regards to our article titled "Every Man Is a Rapist If..." (read HERE). This a follow-up article to clear things and ensure we are not misunderstood.

Recently I've been bombarded with some ill conceived notion/comments as regards my article on "Every man is a rapist if..." In the second paragraph I wrote that "we do not want our male readers to get the wrong idea that we're declaring every man a rapist. By careful reading I expect readers to understand the message in it also that I mean no harm and yes that I'm a feminist doesn't mean I'm man-hating. Feminism has to do about equal rights for women and men not hate on men.

I want to clarify that "Every man is a rapist If..." is not the same thing as "Every man is a rapist." It doesn't mean that every man would rape if given the chance nor every man wants to rape. What it means is that a rapist do not have marks or visible signs on his foreheads to identify him as one. It means that even people within a victim circle of trust and friendship can be the very person who rapes her.

Every Man is a Rapist If... And the Misconception Surrounding Sex/Rape by Abimbola Abiola

Last week after I was having a discussion about rape and power someone said that rapists always know that they're raping. Several people pointed out that "rape is never an accident." There was also the suggestion that rapists always know what they're doing- or, to reword it slightly, rapists know that they're rapists- they don't rape without knowing that they're raping. Personally, I'm really not completely convinced of this.

To our male readers, this is an innocuous write up, we don't want you having the wrong, that we're not saying all men are rapists, we're just about shedding more light on some misconceptions and leaving you in the state of wondering "If".

Why Would a Policeman Rape a Two-Year-Old by Azuka Onwuka

Read this from Punch newspaper and thought that we should share it with you. 

The Senate recently discussed the alleged rape of a two-year-old baby girl, Chinwendu Onwudiwe, by a police corporal, Mr. Anthony Onoja, in Mararaba, Nasarawa State. The senators who spoke during that session were not just angry but horrified.

The police had come under attack for allegedly shielding the accused officer from justice several months after the act. But the police spokesman, Mr. Frank Mba, responded that the police were not shielding him, but had sacked him and charged him to court.

How Not to Help A Rape/Sexual Assault survivor

Sometimes even the most well-meaning people can say the wrong thing to a victim of rape or sexual assault. It's very hard to know what to say and what not to say.

Here are some tips for what not to do or say to a sexual assault survivor:

–– Don't guilt or pressure your friend into reporting the rape - it is up to his or her discretion whether or not he or she wants to report the rape to the police. You can encourage this, but do not use guilt or pressure as a motivator - your friend is already dealing with a lot of guilt and grief about the rape.

Rape: The Victim, Society & Breaking the Silence.

One day at lunch, a group of four young men seated by me were having a discussion about a rape video. They chatted so loudly about it I had no problem tuning my ears for better reception. Any ways, even though they had no knowledge of the perpetrator and victim, they spoke as if they did. All except one agreed that the lady deserved what she got and was to be blamed. The lady represented a case study related to their own experiences.

I listened as they bragged about their rape escapades giving counts of the number of girls they'd raped as proofs. Some were hailed for ‘doing’ more than the others. To them, rape is an act of dominance and gaining control over difficult unwilling girls ––  it's used punish and degrade them.

#Nigeria: 34YO Man Rapes Girl, 13, to Death in #Ekiti

They have done it again! All these men that cannot control their libido have ruined another young child's future. Report from Daily Post states that a 34-year-old man has raped a 13-year-old girl to death in a cocoa plantation at Eyio Ekiti, Irepodun/Ifelodun Council area of Ekiti State.

The suspect identified as Sunday, a co-labourer with parents of the girl in the plantation, last Monday, tricked the teenager to the location and forceful have intercourse with her.

The Suicide of That Rape Victim

A writer from PM News has delved into the world of rape and its scourge. Incase you are wondering 'what suicidal rape victim?' well read it HERE. We believe you should read this and hope you like it! Read below

In case you missed it, we’ve been allowed a glimpse into what remains of the life of every female victim of sexual assault. If before now you were beset by curiosity as regards their disposition to life afterwards, your puzzle need not be prolonged for a statement to that effect has been made- an eloquent one for that matter! Yet, for those who have been indifferent to the scourge of rape, it is hoped that the statement made will make them feel different.

It should all the more dawn on the perpetrators, who do not reason beyond their lustful quest to disengage the heat in their groin, that the binge of violation they effect is a stroke that makes their preys prefer to inhabit the great beyond! Further compounding this absurd preference is the society that instead of providing succour, choose to be vindictive as if the victims are the initiators.

Funny! Man Fails to Get an Erection to Rape Woman, Apologises to Her Saying It’s His First Time

Apparently jealousy prompt some men to rape or commit murder. Well in this guy's case after seeing his girlfriend with another man, he just wanted to revenge by raping another woman. Unluckily for him for, his manhood failed him, he just couldn't rape the women. Here is why...

According to IReporters, after seeing his girlfriend with another man, Sudan-born Khalid Abdullah cornered a stranger in an alley and held a blade to her neck in a jealousy fuelled assault.

Khalid told the woman, in her 30s, that he ‘needed s*x’ before putting his hand over her mouth and telling her to keep quiet.

However, Abdullah, 35, was unable to carry out the rape and told her: ‘It’s my first time, I’m sorry.’