What to Do After #Rape in Nigeria by Morenike Fajemisin (@Pharmacistreny)

Rape is one form of sexual assault and a terrible act that has defied understanding of the reasons of the rapist. It has also defied any of the ‘tips’ people give for helping future victims prevent it. Rape is when a person(s) has sex with an unwilling person. Sex should always be consensual, that is, it must happen between willing parties. Any sex with a person who struggles to escape you or lies there begging you to stop is Rape. Because most rape victims are women, I’d like to focus this article where the shoe pinches most. In most developed countries, there are (numerous) easily accessible Sexual Assault Referral Centers you can easily locate and run to for help but this is not the case in Nigeria. I hope to at least guide you through 3 steps that can help you avoid some physical scars so you can move on and be a survivor.

I am yet to hear if a rapist who used a condom and while there are just as many emotional and psychological scars as there are physical scars after rape, here are three DIY steps after rape.

Is the devil to Blame? by @AbimbolaAbiolaa

(Image curled from www.femmehub.com)

Punch Metro has a post about a recent child rape case.

"The boy named Thompson who lived with his family on Oremeji Street had complained about pains in his anus while his mother identified as Adenike Ejigbo gave him a bath. The boy told his mother the man, Amusa Ganiu lured him to a place where he allegedly penetrated his anus. The mother was said to have raised the alarm after which the matter was reported at Alakuko police division"

So what happened to the suspect?

"The lagos state deputy police public relations officer, ASP Aliyu Giwa confirmed the arrest and according to what a police source told their correspondent the suspect didn't deny the incident, he BLAMED THE DEVIL"

At the start of my read which didn't have the same headline as above, I already suspected this typical shift of blame which is frequently given by rapists and criminals who plead guilty to their crimes with a "but" would spring up. This sick excuse demonstrates again that those who commit child rape are committing crimes which came from the brain and multiple deliberate decisions than a "devil" driven compulsion committed by out of control human beings.

Offenders like Amusa committed these crimes because they want to and are meant to take full responsibility for it.


Blaming the devil is not a valid justification for the crime, rape is rape and it is inexcusable.

Poem on #Rape: For Her by Fatou Wurie (@theFatoublog)

FOR HER

This poem is for the girl who like a missing tooth was invisibly visible, 

Left on the sidewalk to cascade heated tears so hard it made sun skip shine for the day. 

This poem is for the girl who is too thick, so slick, to thin, to smart, to pretty, too un-pretty too colored, too black, too white, too brown, too woman all too soon. 

This poem is for the girl whose front tooth like the future that lies between the past and present stood gaped and half full. 

This poem is for the girl whose color was too dark like the marmite spread her mama would saturate on white bread, 

Her mahogany skin not wanted

Shunned in the nicest way possible 

Exotic but not normal Tolerated but not honored

Accepted but not loved

This poem is for her bleached dreams. 

- 

These words are for the girl whose body was too supple and refined

a girl’s soul cased in a woman’s body 

as he rubbed himself on her insiders 

softly at first, leisurely as he pleasured him self-only.

Kneaded her tits like bread-dough,

divided her legs like the second coming of Moses between red waters for his pleasure-only. 

Press Release: Stand to End Rape Initiative Partners with The Eight Foundation

As a means of expanding and providing more referral centers for survivors of sexual violence, on Wednesday, April 22nd 2015, the Stand to End Rape Initiative team, a leading non-profit organization promoting sexual rights and reproductive health and providing FREE legal, medical and psychological help to survivors of sexual violence visited The Eight Foundation in Lekki Phase 1.

The Eight Foundation is an initiative of Miss Nigeria, Ezinne Akudo and aims at providing a platform where rape survivors can get succor. The rape crisis center has trained psychologists who can counsel both and adult and children survivors.

The centre provides free counselling to survivors and also has a partnership with Easy Taxi to pick the survivors up from any location at no extra cost.

The Executive Director of Stand to End Rape Initiative, Oluwaseun Ayodeji Osowobi expressed her delight to partner with The Eight Foundation and hopes that survivors will embrace this opportunity to speak out.

If you have been raped or abused and need someone to talk to, we are here. Please contact Stand to End Rape Initiative via -

Phone: 08095967000
Email: contactus@standtoendrape.org
           standtoendrape@gmail.com.

You can also conenct with us via our social media platforms -

Twitter: www.Twitter.com/standtoendrape
Facebook: www.fb.com/StandtoEndRape
Instagram: www.Instagram.com/StandtoEndRape

My Take on Akpororo's Joke by Deborah (@dumebiesq) #SayNoToRapeJokes

I woke up this morning to a message from one of my favorite twitter people, Ayodeji Osowobi (@AyodejiOsowobi), informing me that Akpororo had finally apologized for the rape joke. I went on to google the apology and as I read it I had tears flowing from my eyes. Was it because I woke up knowing it's also been a few days over one year since little girls were kidnapped from their school and have been living in captivity in the worst conditions with madmen, most likely being raped on a daily basis. Was it because I was relieved he finally apologized, albeit days later? It was most likely a combination of both. Rape issues and persons affected by it do not receive enough protection in our society.

In a week where the Oba of Lagos threatened Igbos living in Lagos with drowning if they did not carry out his orders, and upon a mighty public backlash, he immediately apologized and his statement immediately disowned by the party he sought to represent. In a week where Kunle Afolayan blamed Igbos as the sole cause of his loss to pirates and upon a mighty public backlash
he immediately apologized. In the same week Akpororo, an Airtel Ambassador, and a Comedian
favored by Christians makes a rape joke, there is a weak public backlash (though I am glad this came from both men and women), little or no condemnation from female celebrities and/or women on power, and no response from Airtel to tweets directed at them, even though they continued to tweet and bother me with their unwanted text messages. Some men on twitter even tried the excuse, “it was just a joke”. How??? I have spoken to persons affected by rape, (I hate to use the word “victim” because I respect the strength it takes to work towards overcoming the effect of rape) they donot ever forget, they constantly work to overcome it.

Should Fighting Back to Avoid Rape Equal Death Sentence?

(Photo Credit: www.hurriyetdailynews.com)

20-year-old, Aslan was found burnt in a riverbed in the city of Mersin in Turkey. The psychology student was kidnapped on her way home on Wednesday and the driver attempted to rape her. She reportedly fought him off with pepper spray, but was then stabbed to death and also hit on the head with an iron pipe and that was how Aslan died -- not for probably committing an offence against anyone, but for simply saying no.

We are in a society where people, predominantly women have become prey and can be consumed by these predators anytime, anyday, anywhere. People need to understand that there is need for consent always.

"Yes, let's do this".

"No, let's not do this".

It's very necessary. One can only hope that people would grow to understand the necessity of consent. I'm tempted to ask "Do you enjoy sex when all you hear is screaming and wailing from the other party?" I don't want to think of this. Let's be more human.

Let's respect other people.

Consent is key always. This cannot be overemphasized.

------------------------------------------------------------

We join the women of Istanbul who have held protests so far to express their anger to take a stand to end rape.

Enough is enough. This violence should stop. Let's be more aware and sensitive towards the yearnings of other people.

Join the movement today. Take a stand to end rape.

#Give2STER Press Release.

For Immediate Release

September 16, 2014
The #Give2STER Campaign promotes an end to sexual violence and abuse.

Stand to End Rape (S.T.E.R) Initiative works to end all forms of rape through education, supporting victims of rape and changing community perceptions towards sexual violence and abuse. S.T.E.R provides awareness seminars, sexual violence and abuse education, peer mentoring, therapy and promotes sexual and reproductive rights.

The “#Give2STER” campaign is an opportunity for everyone to say no to sexual violence and abuse in our communities, and take a pledge to support the campaign. The campaign is aimed at starting a free self-defense class for children and young adults, visit schools to distribute preventive materials on sexual violence and also to have a rape intervention centre in Lagos (and across Nigeria).

Throughout the coming weeks, S.T.E.R will be sharing information on how you can do your part to promote the campaign.

Follow STER’s Twitter handle: @standtoendrape for campaign updates, ways to donate and opportunities to join the campaign.

The #Give2STER campaign, which is STER's first official fundraiser starts today and culminates on October 4th by 8 p.m.

You can donate to STER’s bank account:

Account Name: Stand To End Rape Initiative

Account Number: 0157148304 (Cooperate Account).

Bank: GTBank

You can also visit http://standtoendrape.org/ or call +2348095967000 for more information, updates on the campaign and ways you can participate on October 4th!

-End of release-

Rape Goes Both Ways by Buki Otuyemi

As far-fetched as it may sound to many, men and boys do get raped too. Rape is all shades of evil and it is especially hard and traumatic on the victims. One would find it difficult to visualize how men get raped given their physical stature and strength compared to women but the fact remains that men have been disarmed in the past by women (and other men) and raped.

I recall hearing a story when I just got into the university, about how a bunch of ladies raped a randy lecturer that had been sexually harassing a younger student. Also, I have been reading about men being raped in places like South Africa, Europe, etc for many years now. Male-rape have been going on for a long time and while they are not as rampant as female-rape, the devastating trauma the victims go through are not to be trivialized.

Recently in Russia, a 27-year-old female hair-stylist knocked out a 32-year-old would-be male burglar who tried to rob her shop and then tied him up. She was skilled in martial arts and was able to knock him out and subdue him with her skills. She plied him with viagra and raped him several times for three days before releasing him.

Rape: The New Joke by Ejura Salihu

Some days ago, another young lady's life was changed forever. She was betrayed, raped and humiliated on social media. Her name is Jada and she lives in houston, but there is a Jada on every street in Nigeria. We might not see their nudity and assault posted online by their attackers but they exist, shamed and alone. Jada's humiliation didn't stop when the video went viral unfortunately. Instead of sympathy, cyberbullies all over the world continued to humiliate her further and mock her pain with #Jadapose and all sorts of mocking tweets. I have seen a lot of tweets that are nothing short of condescending to the young girl with many mocking her and claiming 'she must have enjoyed it' another one stated 'she got drunk so what did she expect.' I was repulsed.

It dawned on me that rape activists exist, people who think rape is an exaggeration, a norm, a right and a joke, yeah believe it, some people think it is funny. People who believe if a girl is drunk or in a helpless situation then its only natural she should be raped. No one should be subjected to the inhumane treatment of rape. It is her body, no one should take it from her without her consent, no one should humiliate her body by posting them online, no one owns Jada's body except her. Jada is asking for justice, she deserves justice to heal and move on, so does every young girl stripped of innocence by monsters in sheep clothing. Let's speak for Jada and all victims of rape. Our future children should be born into a rape free world. I hope the perpetrators are caught and made to pay for their crimes. It might not take away the hurt but it is a good place to start. #JusticeforJada #StandtoEndRape

Rape Myths

Rape myths are beliefs about sexual assault that wrought with problems. Some myths are just completely and blatantly untrue. What often happens is that beliefs surrounding circumstances, situations, and characteristics of individuals connected to rape are applied to all cases and situations uncritically. Myths exist for many historic reasons which include inherited structural conditions, gender role expectations, and the fundamental exercise of power in a patriarchal society. The best way to approach rape myths are to confront them honestly and frankly. Don't deny their existence and don't dismiss one ungrounded statement with another.

Confronting rape myths sociologically means looking at the data and reevaluating knowledge in the face of social facts. What follows are a list of rape myths and the facts that bring those rape conceptions into question. They are not always conclusive but provide the ground work for continued research.

Myth: Rape is sex.

Fact: Rape is experienced by the victims as an act of violence. It is a life-threatening experience. One out of every eight adult women has been a victim of forcible rape. While sexual attraction may be influential, power, control and anger are the primary motives. Most rapists have access to a sexual partner. Gratification comes from gaining power and control and discharging anger. This gratification is only temporary, so the rapist seeks another victim. 

If You Are Healing...

If you are healing from sexual assault and you get out of bed in the morning, you are doing well.

If you are healing from sexual assault and you hold down a job, you are amazing.
If you are healing from sexual assault and you are still remotely pleasant to others, you are a lot nicer.
If you are healing from sexual assault and you cannot always be there for a friend, you need to think twice, your friends and families need you more.

If you are healing from sexual assault, and find it difficult to care for yourself, but still find the strength to care and love your family, then you are strong as well.
If you are healing from sexual assault and you decide to tell your story, you are brave.
If you are healing from sexual assault and you decide that you are not ready to tell your story, you are also brave but you NEED to #SpeakOut before its too late.

Stand against Rape: Various Caribbean Artists Sing!

We know music unites people. Various artists came together to sing, asking the world to Stand Up against Rape! Please join us as we take a #StandtoEndRape. We hope you can pick the accent though, lol! Enjoy...

Anti-Rape Shorts That Prevents Ladies from Being Raped

Watch the VIDEO HERE

Yaaaayaaa! This is great news! IReportersTV reports that, the creators of a new clothing line have devised yet another means to prevent rape and help women feel safer on the streets.

The new anti rape short called "AR Wear" (anti-rape wear) doesn’t send electric shocks like previous anti rape products, rather it frustrates prospective rapists by making it difficult to remove either by force or stealth (in situations where the victim cannot resist because she has had too much to drink, was drugged, or is asleep).

My Childhood Sex Plays Part 1: An Anonymous Person Speaks

My family had just moved into the neighbourhood and I was welcomed by my neighbor's kids. Our parents had become friends. Our fathers worked out of town and our mothers were busy working nine-to-fives, they were comforted by the fact that we had each other to play with in their absence.

It’s a memory laced only with innocence.

It was over a decade ago, the details only come back to me in snapshots. It all started few days after our 3rd term long vacation began, I was about six-years-old. I was about six at the time and my neighbours six to eight, we had three boys and three girls. Two of them, a boy and a girl were siblings. The sibling's cousin who was much older had come to spend the holiday with the family, because we rotated playtime at each other's home. It was their turn and so we assembled at their house, their parents were at work. The cousin set up their VCR and played a video he brought with him (I assume he stole from his older brothers). For what must have been a few minutes, we watched two pale-white bodies on the screen, having sex. To be honest, I barely remember my reaction.

Rape: How Society Encourages Rather Than Limits It by Manuel Adesola

As a nation, one of the growing menaces to human co-existence, and at large peaceful relationship is the issue of RAPE. Nigeria as a country is not in isolation to this menace and no single person or family is. If you are not the victim, you will know one; maybe because the victim is a family or a friend. Perhaps maybe not so closely, but on the pages of papers and on tabloids you would read about such cases. Directly or indirectly, every issue of rape affects everyone. The trauma victims go through most times tend to make them unworthy of life. Thus, every potential in them, if care is not taken, tend to remain untapped and underused. Under-utilization of potential isn’t a loss of the victim or her family alone, but also of the entire world. The thought of a possible under-utilization of potentials and loss self dignity by victim becomes so painful knowing that perpetrators are not the serpent we saw in the book of Genesis in the bible, neither are they aliens from outer space, but people like you and I. So rape victims are humans and rape perpetrators are humans; both of whom live within a society. Who then is worthy to comfort a victim since those inflicting pains live in the same society with them and who should bring perpetrators to book?

Today is the International Day for the Elimination against Women

Today marks the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. Join @UN, @SayNO_Unite and @StandtoEndRape in the fight to End #ViolenceagainstWomen, which is achievable with your support. Join the conversation on twitter by tweeting at us @StandtoEndRape, using the hashtag (End) #ViolenceagainstWomen #16Days and we will retweet. Please spread the message and let's have a different perspective on how we treat women, who are potential mothers. Join us, take a #StandtoEndRape.

Read more about the day HERE

Video: Don't Be a Victim!

This is a short video by Men Can Stop Rape teaching us that a rapist could be a close friend. They sometimes seem gentle and friendly but ladies out there, please be careful! We hope you have learnt something today.

What Does Dressing Have to Do with Rape?

                                                      

I've found this topic to be a controversial one especially that this is still objective -- every man to his opinion in as much we might consider the answer to be clear.

PS: let me make clear the topic as to whether dressing has to do with rape or one is not about me supporting or dissaproving. This article is centred upon my opinion and advice to youths especially rape survivors.

May I quickly express my understanding of rape and as will be used in this context:
Rape is "any form of unwanted sexual behaviour that is imposed on someone".

#Nigeria: 34YO Man Rapes Girl, 13, to Death in #Ekiti

They have done it again! All these men that cannot control their libido have ruined another young child's future. Report from Daily Post states that a 34-year-old man has raped a 13-year-old girl to death in a cocoa plantation at Eyio Ekiti, Irepodun/Ifelodun Council area of Ekiti State.

The suspect identified as Sunday, a co-labourer with parents of the girl in the plantation, last Monday, tricked the teenager to the location and forceful have intercourse with her.

Discussion: What Are the Causes of Rape?

We want to hear from you people. Several people have their opinions as to what the causes of rape are. Please share your own views. What do you think causes rape?