Thursday, January 30, 2014

Police Arrest Five for Gang-Raping, Robbing Woman

Five men have been arrested by the Ogun State Police Command for allegedly gang raping a 33-year-old female trader in Ogun State. The perpetrators aged within 23-28, initially intended to kidnap the victim in return for a ransom, but robbed and raped her instead after she said she is an orphan.  The victim was dispossessed of a huge sum of money and her personal possessions worth thousands of naira. Read more...

Nigerian Eye reports:
The police in Ogun have arrested five men, who allegedly gang-raped a thirty-three-year-old female trader (names withheld) along Idiroko Road, Ipokia Local Government Area of the state.

The alleged rapists also robbed their victim of N1.8m cash and dispossessed her of other items worth over N387, 000 last Tuesday. 

Monday, January 27, 2014

It All Changed: My Life Story

My name is Dedun. I am vivacious, a go-getter, party rocker and definitely the life of any party you find me but all that changed on the 18th of November 2013 my personal DOOMZDAY.

I stupidly entered the same trap I berate younger girls for... My pride and dignity shattered and I was left broken due to the dictates of a man's lust he left me without choice and decided when,how and in the manner at which my first time happened... after all the plans of keeping this till I feel its the right person or to my lawfully wedded husband.
The deed is done and it cannot be changed he said, then you ask WHAT NEXT??  

First thoughts through my mind was to act out like they do in the movies but my shell shocked self couldn't curse you because I am also the harbinger of this misfortune. He could have left me be with my tattered pride but NO, he wanted to rip it all away from me till my body is crawling with shame all broken down in spirit... He dropped me off and dropped some money for me to sort myself out because he doesn't want to father any child.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Man, 36, Rapes and Impregnates His Daughter

What is going on with our country #Nigeria? When did it become a norm for men to rape their own daughters? Is this a curse or is it something that some men now derive pleasure in? It's bad enough to rape, but ones' own daughter??? Read more...
A 36-year-old man identified as Aminu Ajao, was arraigned on Monday, January 20th 2014 before an Ebute Meta magistrate court for allegedly raping his 14-year-old daughter. The girl, a primary school student, reportedly got pregnant for her father as a result of the rape.
According to the Police, the incident happened on Wale Azeez Street, Ajasa, Lagos State.
Punch reports:
The magistrate, Ms S.O Solebo, called the victim’s mother and her stepmother to court to give an account of how the event unfolded.
The victim’s mother, who did not disclose her name in court, said she had separated from Ajao and had remarried.
She said, “After our separation, I took my daughter to live with my mother.  But in October, 2013, he went to my mother’s house and took her from there.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Girl, 16, Raped to Death in Bayelsa

Not again! Why is rape making the headline news everyday? Are we missing something out? Just today, report has it that a 23-year-old boy allegedly raped a minor to death in Bayelsa. The alleged rapist ran away when he noticed the girl was dead, but amazingly handed himself to the police. Strange right? Read more on the report below.

Daily Trust reports:
A 23-year-old boy yesterday allegedly raped a 16-year-old girl to death in Oporoma community in Southern Ijaw Local Government Area of Bayelsa State.
It was gathered that the deceased visited the alleged rapist in company of her friend, where they were offered drinks containing substances suspected to be cocaine. Daily Trust learnt that while the deceased accepted the offer, her friend declined, and later left the room. Sources said after the deceased’s friend left the room, the suspect raped the victim until she became unconsciousThe alleged rapist, it was gathered, ran away when he noticed that the girl had died and that a mob was after him. Sources said he later handed himself to the police. 
The state Police Public Relations Officer Mr. Alex Akhigbe, confirmed the incident and added that the command is awaiting the outcome of the autopsy on the deceased.He confirmed that the suspected rapist entertained the deceased with alcohol before the rape.He however added that until an autopsy is carried out, the police cannot ascertain the cause of death.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Rape: A Time Bomb Yet to be Defused (Part 2)

Having successfully dealt with the increasing tenor of rape in Nigeria in RAPE: A TIME BOMB WAITING TO BE DEFUSED (read HERE), this article tends to focus on the effects of rape on victims and some hopes to them. The first thing that comes to a girl’s mind during rape or an attempted rape is pregnancy and the fear of contracting any sexually transmitted disease. This tear jerker state usually leave the person in a confused, pitiable and often times, a defenceless state. After losing her dignity and self-esteem, the victim of rape goes through intense and most times unpredictable emotions.

This acute phase is usually characterised with the victim’s inner denial that the assault never occurred. This way, she tries to convince herself that she was not raped. She also experiences flash backs, nail biting dreams or nightmares, anxiety, feelings of humiliation, shame, and a strong desire to disconnect herself from the victim. Psychologists call this victim blaming. She could be blamed for flirting and dressing provocatively. She is usually scared of being alone, hardly gets settled in a crowd and finds it difficult to relate with the opposite sex. If she does, she could be domineering and rude.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

‘Forgive me, it’s my first time’: Man, 62, Pleads After Raping 7 YO Girl

There is always a first time to everything they say, but some things have an exception. It's unforgivable when a 62-year-old man (in his right mind) rapes a 7-year-old girl.

Boniface Ankwuli, 62, who was arrested by the Taraba State police on suspicion of rape has been found guilty of the charges against him. He was sentenced yesterday to six years in prison, before an Upper Area Court in Jalingo, the state capital.

Mr. Ankwuli admitted that he had raped the 7-year-old victim and he pleaded with the court to be 
lenient with him as it was his first offence. 

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Man Arrested for Raping Neighbour’s Pregnant Wife in Oyo

Adeji, a 30-year-old man has been arrested for allegedly raping his neighbour's wife in Ibadan. The accused then offered her N500 not to report. Guess that didn't work as he expected. Read more...
Gigglesplus reports:
A 30-year-old man, simply identified as Adeji is now cooling his heels in a cell at the Criminal Investigation Department of the Oyo State Police Command,
Iyaganku for allegedly raping his neighbour’s pregnant wife. 
Mary (other names withheld), a 23-year-old mother of two kids who is carrying a three-month old pregnancy was a victim of the suspect’s untamed libido. Adeji waylaid the pregnant woman when she was returning from the stream in Sanusi village, Idi-Ayunre, Ibadan, where they are both neighbours. 

Monday, January 13, 2014

This is My Story

We have been calling for (rape) stories that express courage, strength and bravery. We have had many survivors share their story (read some HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE), this is one from Aduke. Enjoy the read.

This is my story….it’s not a movie... it’s not a script… it’s my reality... it’s my story. I was 8years old... Yes 8years…I’m 32years old now but 24 years would always seem like yesterday when I was deprived of being a child… I want to be a child, crave for it but I’ve lost it forever.

I remember it vividly... My elder brother Emeka had returned from school, he was in the university, we were all excited and happy. We had all gone to the boy’s quarters to stay and greet him… he bought kwili kwili and other northern varieties not common in the east where we lived.

My sisters where there and uncle Obi was there too. Uncle Obi had come from the village not too long ago to live with us he was about 25years old. The same age with my eldest brother. He used to call me his small wife and I would giggle and we would all laugh… I was too small to be his wife but he always would buy me sweets and chewing gum and other things for school. My dad used to give us all those nice things too, so it was no big deal for me.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Rape: A Time Bomb Yet to be Defused (Part 1)

The issue of sex is as natural a desire to every human being as it is to animals. When properly used it is marriage, when misused it is adultery or fornication, but if abused it is rape. Like a time bomb yet to be defused, the radical evil of rape ranging from date rape, wartime rape, gang rape and statutory rape (child rape) in Nigeria has become a grenade of crime yet to be addressed in totality.

The frequent murder committed by some men or boys who use their natural weapon to lash a lady or jail bait against her will in recent times has continued to receive a low profile attention from the states, either stemming from the victim’s refusal in evincing the rapist or the parents refusal in doing so or even the police. A case in point was the woman who swept under the carpet the rape of her daughter after being carrotedwith 100,000 Naira. What a shame!

It is on record that about two million German women were ravished by Red Army soldiers during the Second World War. Recently, a 16 year old Kenyan girl was helplessly and unfortunately raped by some guys on her way back from a burial. Even the much publicised Indian case where four men wasted the chaste treasure of a woman against her will. An herbalist in Jos, Plateau who raped a 16 year old girl under the guise of treatment and purification shows the unfinished list and the ticking time bomb of rape.

What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself. Some male folks say the ladies expose their bodies in public. The senatorial debate over a man who defiled a two year old baby speaks volumes that mere indecent exposure is not the only warranty for rape. It is more about one’s inner convivtion andself discipline, for every man has his will and every woman her way.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Letters from the Grave: I Was Raped

Six weeks ago, I committed suicide by drinking a poisonous concoction. The trauma of having been raped by a young man who attacked our house and robbed us of most of our valuables was just too much to bare.

Now, it is as if I am a child who is frightened of the dark. A light has to be left on all night whiles I sleep. The monstrous bastard that raped me, I don’t know his name and I doubt I ever will. I don’t believe that they will catch him, though they claim to be pretty confident.

When I think about that night, which, most of the time, I can hardly bear to do, it all, always, seems like a movie. Not like a dream or a nightmare, not as close or as vivid as that, but like a movie, which I saw several years ago, on a long, long-distance plane journey. But thinking about it, oddly, doesn’t hurt.

How he got access into the main house and made his way into my bedroom is still a mystery. The man who raped me was a young, dark-skinned man, in I guess, his mid-twenties. He had what I would describe as a “Westernised” accent. He was of medium height and had high cheekbones and lazy-looking eyes. His eyes looked like that of a cat. I like cats, but I didn’t like him. He was wearing a dark top of some kind and what looked like black jeans. He had a cap on his head. I had never seen him before in my life.

He woke me up by hitting me in the face. I don’t remember feeling any pain. Perhaps the fear blocked it out. I screamed briefly and then he turned on the TV. I couldn’t understand what was happening. I said to him, “How did you get in?” because I knew that I had not left any doors or windows unlocked.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

My Journey As a Survivor

I love that survivors are coming together in the comments section, I love that people are feeling comfortable sharing their stories, and I love that the stigma of abuse survivor shame is finally be sharing on here and baring my feelings in front of you all, it has not been easy. Writing comes easily to me, but the reflections I get while I'm writing, the memories that are dragged out of the darkness from the back of my closet where I have buried them away, they aren't easy to face. But I can't keep everything hidden away in the corner of a closet. The closet is full. I can no longer close the doors on my past trauma's. Just like all the wrong sized clothes that hang around in a closet and do no good to anyone, someone else could use them if you are just willing to pull them out and give them away. I wouldn't have been in the closet, if someone had seen me. I wouldn't have spent years piling more, and more, into that closet and locking it away, if I had known that it was ok to pull it all out. If I had known it was ok to tell someone what was going on, and if someone had listened, I might have been saved from years of trauma.

So I've been opening the doors, letting you all in, and beginning to sort through everything that I have worked so hard to hide away. I was hoping that it would help at least one person to realize that they are not alone. That they have nothing to be ashamed of. That it's ok to open the doors, because someone else did it first.

I had enough, and so the closet doors opened, and I couldn't remain silent anymore. Things needed to be changed, and so I broke the silence of my past, in an effort to change the future. I can't help everyone, most days I can't even help myself, but I'm trying. I am excited about the not-for-profit I'm starting. I am excited to be able to help all the (wo)men, that have fallen through the cracks. But sharing my story, its not been easy o. It's not easy for me, and its not easy for all the other women who have their closet doors shut so tightly that no light gets in. The biggest fear I've had, the biggest fear most people have that have been abused, is of not being believed, or of simply just not being understood. It is the main reason why so many of us stay silent.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Rape, Murder Top 2013 Crime Record in Ekiti

Just yesterday we posted Osun State's rape record for 2013, today, Ekiti State is on the hot seat. According to reports, rape and murder topped Ekiti's crime record for 2013. Well, inasmuch as this is frightening, we are indeed happy that victims of rape are stepping out of the "shame zone" and are reporting rape cases. We are also commending the police for their hardwork.
Read more about the report below.

Punch reports:
The Ekiti State Police Command said in Ado- Ekiti, the state capital, on Tuesday that there were increased cases of rape and murder in the state last year. 
The Commissioner of Police in the state, Mr. Sotonye Wakama, gave the hint while rendering the account of the command’s efforts in crime prevention and reduction strategy in 2013. 
The CP put the number of reported rape cases in Ekiti State in 2013 at 44 against the 30 cases in 2012. 
He said there were 44 reported murder cases in the command last year, against the 31 reported cases in the preceding year.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

78 Rape Suspects Arrested by Osun Police in 2013: How Good Is This News?

Yesterday, when Punch reported that last year alone, 78 rape suspects were arrested in Osun State; people felt it was good news. But really, how good is this news? If this alarming statistic was recorded in one state alone (not ignoring cases that were unreported), what would be the total statistics on rape for the whole country? This reaffirms that we have a long path to thread on. Some have argued that Nigeria has a rape culture, while some others have stated that the issue of "rape" is being overflogged. The issue of rape cannot be overemphasised because it's an important issue. The amount of rapists unleashing their madness on girls is on the rise.

This isn't targeted at rubbishing the efforts of the Nigerian Police -- of course they have done an excellent job, but how many of these suspects have been prosecuted? Was justice meted in each case? Has the police department tried to help those victims of rape in cases of medical examination and couselling?

This report importantly serve as a reminder of the amount of girls, who get defiled on a daily basis. Imagine how many minors were defiled by this "inhumane beings." Take a second to think about the scars they have left in the hearts of our little angels.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Ending Violence: Connecting the Dots Between Young African Women and Development

I attended a social function just last Wednesday in the Senegalese capital, Dakar. The event was one that you could describe as having successfully attracted under one roof an eclectic group of people: local politicians, artists, traditional leaders, entrepreneurs, etc.

I was mingling with guests and doing the usual social networking, and I was barely paying attention to the musicians when I heard the voice of the lead singer call for attention.

"We must care about the well being of our daughters, sisters, wives and mothers. Violence against women and girls is not an option because we need them in building our nation. So I dedicate my next song…”

And with that, he went on singing.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Domestic Violence Short Film: Don't Ignore!

A short film advocating against domestic violence. When you are aware than someone is being abused, please don't keep quiet, you could be saving a life. Watch and enjoy!

Writer: Arome Ameh
Producer: Bamigbe Onasanya
Director: Soji Ogunnaike

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Pregnancy As a Result of Rape: Will You Keep It or Abort It?

This issue has always been on my mind, but I just didn't know how to relate it. Even if you can't relate with this because you have never experienced it, you probably know someone who has. How then do we console such a person? Do we tell them "sorry" for the rape or for being victims of an unwanted pregnancy.

Getting raped is bad enough, having to raise a child as a result is more difficult. Most people at this point are forced to consider abortion. This may be because of the pressure from their parents to produce the father of the child or the stigma that comes from the society. We don't blame them, but is it the right thing to do? Why kill an innocent child for what he/she isn't guilty of. The world needs more vibrant leaders, how sure are you that your child isn't one of those?

Just what if during the abortion process you lose your womb or even your life. Who are you going to blame for that: the rapists, the unborn child or the doctor?  Most people have been victims of damaged wombs because they couldn't bear the torture of seeing a child, who reminds them of their ordeal. This isn't to say that this is an easy situation, however, you can make the best out of any circumstance, it depends on YOU. Which would you rather live with: that you killed a child, lost your womb and knowing that someone out there needs a child desperately or would you rather be positive and love your child. Just because you never wished to have a child through this means doesn't mean he isn't still a gift from God. If you can't bear to see the child that reminds you of your agony, wouldn't it be better for you to give that child a chance at living -- through adoption.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Domestic Violence Needs More Attention, Says Governor Fashola

During the 12th anniversary of Ms Funmi Iyanda's "Change A Life Programme,"which held at the Nigerian Television Authority (NTA) Network centre on Victoria Island; Lagos State Governor Babatunde Fashola stated that domestic violence needs more attention. He further explained the need for state police to shift focus from typical social vices such as kidnapping and armed robbery, to tackling grievous issues like domestic violence on women and children. Fashola also highlighted that rape cases are not usually reported by victims, as police lack adequate investigative mechanisms and legal provisions to apprehend/prosecute rapists. This and many more he said his administration will focus on for the new year. Read more after the cut.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Why Do Women Stay in Abusive Marriages?

As I sat to watch a movie called "Unforgivable," I saw a man who raped and physically abused his wife. This got me thinking '...what was going on?' When did it become acceptable for men to rape their wives? Why are women so quiet about sexual violence? Is it the fear of losing their marriage or because society has taught women to be quiet about such an incident?

Society itself contributes to this menace. Women are mostly not given the opportunity to air their opinion in marriage (even in this present age). They are seen as second class citizens, humans below men, fragile beings and sometimes as mere properties men purchased -- through bride price. This has relegated women to taking the back position. A position where women don't see the need to #SpeakOut.

Women have to change the way they view themselves. Hey, the way you view and place yourself is the way a man will handle you. Women must gain the confidence to express themselves in marriage. Marriage is a partnership, it isn't a one man venture. It has been said countless times, "if a man hits you once, he will hit you again." It is amazing when women stay in abusive marriages in the name of "He will change." What if he never changes? Are you going to keep hoping until he beats life out of you?

Women it is time to stop hiding under the disguise of been a faithful wife/spouse. An abusive marriage has nothing to do with humility and reverence for your spouse. If he hits you, #SpeakOut, talk to organisations that (you know) can help you or better still pray. If worse comes to worse; take to your heels before he takes your life. This is your year to walk in your freedom, don't be under the shackles of commitment by staying in a marriage that could possibly end your life. We are however not asking women to divorce their husbands or abandon their homes, we are only asking that they don't suffer in silence.

This is a call on women. It's time to #SpeakOut, take back your freedom.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

What You Can Change In 2014 by Manuel Adesola

Here comes the dawn of a new day to mastermind the birth of a new moment, the introduction of a new phase and at the end revelation of a new year. On the morrow are promises of life, forgiveness of yesterdays and forgetfulness of yester-years. The past years had gone pregnant with happenings, many of which are favoring, a few of which are not. But depending on the perspective of view, everything may be to one as an advantage; the good, the bad and ugly as the bible puts; "All things work together for good to them that love God." But for the blood that flows within, and flesh that abhor pains, one would want a pill or two to end the trauma of victimization.

But I tell you, if it was a pain that respond to pain reliever, I am sure the clinic will have prescriptions for you.

Or if it was an ache that answers to the dictates of pain killers, doctors would have extra work on their hands to attend to.

But because it is not, it denies you the comfort of drugs to end the agony of pain. It is more of the mind than flesh. It radiates in emotion and feeling than the eyes can diagnose.

But in all that, you have a killer that kills kill. They call Him Comforter, Healer and Savior; He won’t leave you to know these pains alone but will take over the pain completely from you. Of a truth and fact I can tell, His power of restoration is efficient. He will put you back to where you belong; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and it won’t feel like anything was lost. By the time He is done, a new page would be opened and you would be asked to write a new you. Because as soon as you walk to Him, He re-programs your life to where you were before Him and not where circumstance of life has taken you. To Him, you are still the sweet daughter, a vessel to be used for His honor. Remember, no one can take away the purpose of a product as determined by the manufacturer. They can condemn and criticize but can’t stop the flow of a product to do its role. Your manufacturer, God is telling you not to forget your purpose because you were molested.

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