Poem on #Rape: For Her by Fatou Wurie (@theFatoublog)

FOR HER

This poem is for the girl who like a missing tooth was invisibly visible, 

Left on the sidewalk to cascade heated tears so hard it made sun skip shine for the day. 

This poem is for the girl who is too thick, so slick, to thin, to smart, to pretty, too un-pretty too colored, too black, too white, too brown, too woman all too soon. 

This poem is for the girl whose front tooth like the future that lies between the past and present stood gaped and half full. 

This poem is for the girl whose color was too dark like the marmite spread her mama would saturate on white bread, 

Her mahogany skin not wanted

Shunned in the nicest way possible 

Exotic but not normal Tolerated but not honored

Accepted but not loved

This poem is for her bleached dreams. 

- 

These words are for the girl whose body was too supple and refined

a girl’s soul cased in a woman’s body 

as he rubbed himself on her insiders 

softly at first, leisurely as he pleasured him self-only.

Kneaded her tits like bread-dough,

divided her legs like the second coming of Moses between red waters for his pleasure-only. 

Opinion: Rape and a Few Underlying Issues by @AAABORODE

There is no justification for rape, but we can achieve a significant plus when we cut off 

the extreme indecent dressing rampant nowadays. It is also a significant tool used by the 

perpetrators / rapists to cower their victims into believing it was their fault.

The sudden increase in the number of rape cases in recent times is not just alarming but scary! We are fast becoming regular victims of mentally derailed predators and the war seem like it’s just getting started.

The act of rape isn’t humane; and I see it as an act carried out by people with very low self-esteem and very sad lives. Unfortunately ladies and children are the major victims of these atrocious acts; they are subjected to the forceful act and end up being psychologically damaged for most parts of their lives.

Rape has resulted in cases of abortion, death of many either by suicide or murder and it has sent many to psychiatrist homes. It has aided the spread of sexually transmitted infections and paralyzed the dreams of many. Our environment hasn’t been just to the victims of these barbaric acts.

The victims, in most cases have been left to live in fear and turmoil. They have been made to look like outcasts and their burden has been derided as ‘normal’. We as a people need to understand that no one deserves to be raped and we should help these victims fight the war. The dangers of not helping are countless and it may end up knocking on your door if you think it hasn’t gotten to the grave end yet.

Shame: Poem by Tosin Adeshokan (@theOluwatosin)

SHAME


The child heavy with child.
Spited by her mates,
Shallow bastards that wouldn’t know any better.
Disgraced by the community,
Shamed by her family.
She won’t find the cure to cancer.
That future is now erased.
All she would ever be would be street fights and failed marriages.
Drugs and suicide attempts.
One day she gets lucky and kills herself,
Trying to drown the Indian movie of sadness her life has become.


But do not shame Shade
No No No! Don’t even dare!


Shame her father for being a pig!
It’s not his fault he can’t respect women!
Just like his father before him, he is a violent abusive drunk!


Shame her mother for not standing against hell she called marriage.
A fractured nose here, a non-operational black eye there.
Settling for someone beneath her because society says ‘A woman is a failure if she isn’t married’.

THE MONSTER CALLED RAPE

I guess that my difficulty in being able to write about women related themes in my writings stemmed from the fact that when I had grown to the level of self-realisation, my mother who could properly guide me through the mountainous range of knowing and appreciating the opposite sex was no more of this earth, or perhaps because I never grew with a female sibling, or even maybe, because I grew up in a conventional Nigerian family , ferociously grounded in morals, where it would amount to a taboo for a man to ever think of stooping so low to the level of a woman (Infact, God help you if Papa should as much as catch you innocently daydreaming about the opposite sex).

I had methodically embarked on a joyous voyage of Thank-God-I-Am-A-Man themed writings. A moment of introspection had awakened in me and opened my eyes to the wonders and amazing world of being a woman. A task which I will not set out here, but suffice it to say that being a woman is a very beautiful experience. That sadly seems to be on a sharp decline as evinced from the various acts of violence against women. Questions after question continually barraged my mind. What if my future wife was someone who had undergone the damaging and traumatising effects of being raped? What if I am nowhere to be found tomorrow, what will be the fate of my future daughters in a world of prejudiced values against women? What if my only sister, had she been alive, grows to become a victim of rape? Worst of all, what if I had been born a girl, who could tell, if I wouldn't have experienced such traumatic moments of being dehumanised and downgraded? As these unanswered questions kept nagging at me, I found myself invariably departing from mainstream Collins; trademark Arikor, who naturally is stone-hearted when it comes to matters concerning the opposite sex. Because whichever way you decide to look at it, the issue of rape touches us all in one way or the other. And then an inner voice told me it was time to wear the shoes of rape victims so as to feel how it pinches; it was time to lend my voice to the dastardly act of rape. This monster called rape.

Sex Education: Question of the Day!

My people, please where did she go wrong??? Leave your comments please!

Indecent Dressing: What You Should Know by Habiba Olawale

We have been calling for articles; for people to share their thoughts with the rest of world. This is an article written by one of our team mates. Let's know what you think...

Decent dressing of course, is part of human life, because it elicits respect and protects the person’s dignity. While the antonym which is indecent dressing is a social malady that ridicules the person and is likely to shock or irritate people. It exposes parts of the body, usually sexual organs, which normally should be covered. Decent dressing by students/working class/celebrities etc attracts respect from lecturers, guards, classmates, boss, colleagues, fans etc and most importantly can go a long way to protect you from being the target of rape, sexual harassment and scandal. Even though I was well dressed when I was raped, Indecent dressing has adverse effect on a person; it brings hatred, disrespect from people.

#Nigeria: Alarming! 15 Children Defiled by their Fathers, Uncles in Enugu – FIDA Reports

The International Federation of Women Lawyers, FIDA, on today, expressed concern over the increasing rate of defilement of children in Enugu State.

The group said no fewer than 15 children were defiled from July to November this year in the state.

Chairperson of the organization in Enugu State, Nkiru Ugwu-Nwabueze, who disclosed this during its 2013 week with the theme “Women Empowerment and Sustainable Development With Emphasis on the Gains/Challenges”, held at the Filbon Hotel, Enugu, said the children were defiled by those they called uncles and brothers.

14YO Girl Secretly Films Her Father on Webcam During Sexual Assault

A man accused of sexually assaulting his own daughter for a period of many months has been arrested in the southern French town of Florensac after the 14-year-old girl had the presence of mind to secretly film an attack using a webcam.

The girl, aged 14, used a webcam on her computer to film the abuse, in Florensac, a town in the southern Herault department.

Sex Education Part 2

We started a session on sex education (check HERE) and this is the concluding part. It's important to ensure we are enlightened and have adequate information to educate our little girls. Hope this is helpful.

#8: It is always advisable you go through any new material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.

#Nigeria: Farmer Bags 15 years Imprisonment for Raping Minor in #Jigawa

Wonders shall never end! Apparently some farmers cultivate both crops and under aged girls, how despicable! Instead of brainstorming on strategies to help our agricultural sector, they are working on destroying a girl's future. We'll come say hello in the prison sir!  Read more on the farmer's story...

The Punch reports that a Hadejia High Court in Jigawa on Wednesday sentenced a 25-year-old farmer, Umar Yakubu, to 15-year imprisonment, without an option of fine, for raping an eight-year-old girl.

FIDA Advises Against Out-of-Court Settlement

Photo Credit: NAN

We totally agree with the Chairperson, International Federation of Women Lawyers, Bayelsa chapter, Mrs Pere Egbuson, who has urged rape victims to reject-out-of court settlement. We believe that out-of-court settlement is not only doing rape survivors no justice, it buys their voice.

Egbuson made the call in an interview with the News Agency of Nigeria in Yenagoa.

Sex Education and Prevention Tips Part 1

So guys, this are tips for both mothers, fathers and their children. Let us do what is right so our children won't see what we are doing and want to practice it with someone!

#1: Warn your girl child never to sit on anyone's laps no matter the situation including uncles.

#2: Avoid getting dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old. Learn to excuse yourself.

#3: If you have to hire a house-help, please kindly take them for HIV screening to determine their HIV status, properly interview them and make up your mind to treat them well.

#Kenyan Women Fight for Justice As Rapists Are Sentenced to Cut Grass

News reaching us is that over a million furious campaigners have signed a petition demanding justice after three men accused of brutally gang-raping a Kenyan school girl were ordered to cut grass as punishment.

The ferocious attack on the girl and lack of action towards those who carried it out has sparked outrage in the country. The girl is now wheelchair-bound with a broken back, caused either by the beating or by being hurled down into the pit, and also suffered serious internal injuries from the rape.

The 16-year-old girl was reportedly attacked, beaten and then raped by six men as she returned from her grandfather's funeral in western Kenya in June, before the gang dumped her, bleeding and unconscious, in a deep sewage ditch.

Things to Say to Someone Who Has Been Raped

Hello guys, in line with other articles on how to help rape survivors read HERE and HERE, this is about things you should say to a rape survivor. Using these words helps them and also shows that you understand what they have been through. Use them, abuse them (you are only permitted to abuse in this case, lol!) and help someone out there. Have a fab week!

Words to say...

How to Help a Rape Survivor Recover

               How To Help Someone Recover From A Rape or Sexual Assault:
Your friend or loved one has been attacked and violated in one of the most horrifying of ways. You feel powerless, angry, and unsure of what to do next.

Here are some tips for helping a loved one recover from a sexual assault:

                                             Right After The Sexual Assault:

Encourage your friend to see a doctor and receive proper medical attention after a sexual assault. He or she may need treatment for STDs or pregnancy testing after the assault.

Encourage - but do not pressure - your friend to report the attack. If your friend does not want to report the rape, respect that decision as his or hers to make.

                                                    Shortly After The Rape:

Listen, listen, listen to your friend who has been raped. He or she may try to go over and over the assault, replaying it in his or her mind. Listen without judgement as often as your friend would like.

Assure your loved one that he or she is not to blame for the rape. Expect to do this often as your loved one tries to work out why he or she was the victim of sexual assault.

Reassure your friend or loved one that you will be by their side no matter what. Your door is always open and you're always just a phone call away.

Reassure your loved one that no one "deserves" to be sexually violated or raped.

#Nigeria: Edo Hospital Alone Records over 80 Rape Cases In Seven Months

In a recent news by Daily Post, a pathologist with Central Hospital, Benin said on Monday that the hospital recorded more than 80 cases of rape from March to mid-October.

Dr Jude Uchendu, a Consultant Pathologist in the Department of Pathology and Forensic Medicine in the hospital, made the disclosure in an interview with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in Benin.

He said that more than 90 per cent of the cases were committed by people known by the victims with a significant number committed by neighbours or blood relations.

He said that only few were carried out by strangers, such as armed robbers and people who met the girls on the way and took them to uncompleted buildings.

Uchendu also said that some of the perpetrators of the crime were the girls’ fathers and caregivers.

“Between the month of March and October, we have interviewed over 80 patients and unfortunately, most of them are less than 18 years.

How to Recover from a Rape/Sexual Assault

When a person is raped or sexually assaulted, his or her world is turned upside down. Not only has he or she been violated in the most intimate way possible, he or she has to heal from the assault. But...how? Society is still afraid to talk openly about a rape or sexual assault; people may not know how to approach the rape victim - afraid to say the wrong thing.

Every person who has been sexually violated responds differently to the crime - some become horribly depressed while others become very angry. All emotions are fair responses to a rape or sexual assault.

Here are a list of tips for talking to a rape victim as well as how to help yourself recover from a rape or sexual assault. Note that for the purposes of this resource, we are using rape and sexual assault interchangeably.

                              How To Recover From A Rape/Sexual Assault:

If you have been the victim of a rape or sexual assault, you may not know how to feel normal again. You may feel that the emotional pain of a rape or sexual assault will never go away. You may feel shame, depression, anxiety and fear after the attack. No matter how you feel, know that things will become better, you will learn to heal, and life will go on in your new normal.

Here are some tips for recovering from a rape or sexual assault:

Heartbreaking! Bunmi Sobowale Took to Twitter to Share Her Rape Experience

Bunmi Sobowale @Bunmicake is someone a friend on Facebook had told me about. I didn't want to push her by asking her some questions, but I am glad she finally spoke out. Survivors have to learn the power in speaking out. It is in itself therapy. See more of her tweets after the cut.

#SouthAfrica: Four Men Charged with Raping and Murdering Two Toddlers

I just saw this on BBC Africa (thanks to a reader who sent the link to me) and I was shocked! Two bodies of two girls, aged 2 and three, were found after being raped by five men! Violent crime rate in South Africa has been on the rise over the years and the rates of rape cases have always topped the chart. Children meet their untimely death because one man couldn't control his libido. This is something that should never happen to anybody's child.

Four men have been charged with the rape and murder of two toddlers in the South African township of Diepsloot, north of Johannesburg.

A fifth suspect was arrested on Friday after police issued an identikit photo.

His arrest sparked violent protests outside a police station in Diepsloot as hundreds of demonstrators demanded he be handed over to the crowd.

Photo Journalist Captures the Marriage of a 15YO and His14YO #childbride in Gaza.

He got a phone call from a friend asking if he wanted to photograph a wedding in Gaza. He told him he wasn’t interested but when he heard that the groom was 15 years old and the bride was one year younger than him, the photographer rushed to the location immediately.

After arriving he saw people celebrating in the street not far from the border between Israel and the northern Gaza Strip. Among them was a young Palestinian boy being carried on the shoulders of relatives and friends. He couldn’t believe that the boy was the groom until he asked him and he replied with a smile, “yes I am”.