Shout Out to a Survivor By Ejura Salihu

I should have written this a few weeks ago but circumstances delayed this article, I hope its not late to pay tribute to an icon of strength, the survivor we all know too well, Late Maya Angelou. I would not claim to be an avid reader of her poems and her works but I love all the ones I have read and I can't deny the sheer strength that oozes through each masterpiece. I feel a sense of pride reading her struggles and survival. Raped at a tender age of 8, she lost her voice for a while but when she found her voice and spoke, the world listened till the end of her life and we are all still listening. 

Not all victims of rape find their voice immediately, most need time to heal internally before speaking out. I use this medium to encourage all victims of abuse wherever they may be, please heal, take your time, but when your find your strength and voice, don't let it be bullied into silence. You deserve justice, you deserve to be heard. The culture of rape can only be broken if the culture of silence is broken.

Save a Girl, Save a Nation By Emeka D. Azubuike

The issue of building a strong, viable and peaceful nation is one major clamor in our present world order; and for it to be said that a nation is working to a certain level, every sector or  challenge must be overcome. Some areas must be put into full consideration and attention in  measuring the viability of nations. One of such area is the security of citizens especially those who have limited ability to protect themselves like our girls and women.

Gender Based Violence is one menace that is prevalent in our society yet given little attention.  The differential a classification of women in the society as against men has made it possible for them to experience such acts of violence and discrimination. Such acts ranging from domestic violence, girl child trafficking, child labour, rape, assault, deprivation of education, child marriage, genital mutilation and many more that are not known to the society.

Victim Blaming Sends Mixed Messages to Perpetrators by Abimbola Abiola

On a radio talk show centred on rape, a caller who identified himself as a lawyer and rape and domestic abuse advocate shared a rape case about a girl who was gang raped at a party.

"I mean, she must be very stupid to go to the party in the first place" He said.

Several callers supported the lawyer's statement, some said she deserved it, after all a reasonable girl would know not to attend a night party hence she was to blame. Two callers even referred to the victim as 'foolish girl'. None of them bothered to ask/mentioned her rapists. This caught me off guard.

So, Lately I've been thinking about these laments against 'stupid' or 'foolish' victims by people who claim to be against rape and domestic abuse. These laments are at best hopelessly naive. At worst, they are callous statements which support rape and domestic abuse and help perpetrators justify or minimize their actions.

Typically there is more disdain in these laments directed at victims and potential victims that gets directed at perpetrators and potential perpetrators. When they get called on this, they will often justify directing their harshest statements at victims by labelling perpetrators as monsters incapable of learning.

POEM: Let the Chick out of the Lion’s Den By Chineke Onyedika Victor

Who will let the chick out of the lion’s den?

Who will save it from its trembling feathers?
It was let loose by the carelessness of God knows who
The chick, the hen and maybe the cockerel too
She is the chick
As innocent as the white dove
Still learning to fly above
Above struggles of life, above certain challenges
As feeble as the cartilage
Not yet ossified
Lacking strength, and lacking vigor

Justice For Victims of Rape by Bukola Otuyemi

Majority of Nigerians staunchly believe that rape victims never get justice and we at Stand To End Rape Initiative (S.T.E.R) always do our best to convince them otherwise. One can hardly fault them completely given some past records, but the fact remains that determination in seeking justice with the precise evidences are what makes a success out of such cases. The path to seeking justice for rape victims are never smooth nor easy to tow, but tow them we must if we want to put an end to these heinous crimes against humanity.

When I read this article (Read HERE) in the news, I was overwhelmed with mixed feelings. A 45-year-old man had raped a 10-year-old boy horrifically, in Jigawa State. Firstly, I was sad at the plight of the young victim and concerned about him getting the right treatment and counselling to overcome the trauma. I'm not quite sure how accessible and efficient rape counselling centres are up North.

Let Love Into Your Hearts Again. R.I.P #Aluu4

I recall the horror washing over me when I watched the #Aluu4 video over a year ago.

I recall the helplessness on their faces as they were dragged and beaten and mocked and tortured by a mob.

I recall the hope in their eyes that perhaps, just perhaps, a miracle would occur and ONE person would step in and save them.

I recall the painfully outstretched hands pleading for mercy and begging for their lives to be spared.

I recall the rage, venom and madness that overtook the murderous crowd as they pummeled these young men to death.

I recall imagining what their parents would go through, knowing “fellow Nigerians” murdered their children in cold blood.

Abduction and Rape: The New Weapons of Terrorism #BringBackOurGirls

“I want to challenge the phrase "married off." Don't you think it's euphemistic? These girls have been violently abducted, and these "marriages" are actually rapes and imprisonments.” – A comment by ‘Perpetual Dawn’ on the New York Times’ Editorial of May 7, 2014 titled “Nigeria’s Stolen Girls”

Nothing succinctly captures the tragedy of Nigeria’s stolen girls than the quote reproduced above. We all are aware that violence in the north has been raging for sometime but has increased in popularity when on the night of April 14/15, about 300 girls were abducted from the Government Secondary School in Chibok, Borno State and three weeks after while the nation was still working on rescuing the girls, no fewer than 8 girls were again kidnapped. This, combined with the effortless inaction of the government prompted Nigerians to raise their voices against these outrages. It fueled a strong social media campaign which started with the hashtag #BringBackOurGirls and also protests all over the nation. This made headlines around the world and as such gained the attention of the international communities who are now partly a major source of support to the cause.

Update On the Case of the 16-Year-Old Girl Who was Gang-Raped in Ifo LGA

About a fortnight ago, a horrific rape story was brought to the attention of Stand To End rape Initiative (S.T.E.R). A young girl, Hawawu had been gang raped brutally by four young men who resided in her neighborhood. Please find the link to the story HERE.

STER Initiative held several meetings and decided to take the case up. At about 5 p.m. on Monday the 28th of April 2014, Ayodeji Osowobi (coordinator: Stand To End Rape Initiative), Abayomi Idris (A Lawyer with Stand To End Rape Initiative) and Bukola Otuyemi (Programs Coordinator: Stand To End Rape Initiative) arrived at No. 4 Ilesanmi Street, Agbado Oja, Ifo Local Government Area of Ogun State. Locating the victim's abode was tough as it was tucked away in a very remote and ancient looking village just outside Lagos.

Date Rape: "Be Sensitized, Don't Be a Victim" By Aderemi Adesoji

Simply put, one of the worst things that can happen to a lady is RAPE. Yes, this is not gainsaying or any such thing. Just ask any victim and they’ll tell you how harrowing the experience was (for some, it never goes away).

While evil men, and sometimes women, device schemes to unnecessarily ruin people’s lives. We have to help the cause by enlightening our women folk on the concept of rape, and measures to be taken to avoid being a victim.

Rape is defined by the Oxford dictionary as “The crime, typically committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with the offender against their will.”

Rape comes in different forms, examples of which are Date rape, Spousal rape, Child rape, Statutory rape, Prison rape, War rape, Corrective rape, Incestual rape...

This article is focusing on Date rape.

"I Was Raped 13 Years Ago, But It's Time to Break the Silence," says BIDEMI

It's very important that more and more people #SpeakOut. Sharing your story is a step towards getting your healing... Today on the blog, I will be sharing the story of a lady, who was abused 13 years ago and yet relives the incident in her head daily.

Bidemi says her rapist ''OLUKUNLE KOLEOSO IS NOW A CUSTOMS OFFICER WHO HAS BEEN EMPOWERED WITH A UNIFORM AND A GUN, THE THOUGHT OF WHAT HE possibly CAN DO WITH IT SENDS SHRILL DOWN MY SPINES.''

She said watching my Moments With Mo session helped her find her voice... She sent this to me and I thought I should share this (with her permission of course).

Read more below...

In Awe of Valentine's Day

Yaaayaaa everyone it's valentine's day! Oh wait! Are you thinking what I am thinking? People tend to get carried away with the season that they make terrible decisions/get involved in wicked acts.

I just read a story on YNaija of a girl who asides getting robbed, was gang-raped by three men she met via social networking site, 2GO (incase you haven't read it, please click on the YNaija link). In the awe of wanting gifts, outings and all, you decide to meet someone you have never met in person today. I am not saying it is a bad idea, all I am saying is be careful so you don't fall victim like other people have.

Don't get too carried away. If possible, buy your own drinks. When you do, ensure you don't leave your opened drink to use the convenience room. I am not saying all men/ladies are bad, of course not! I am just ensuring that your safety :). Like I was saying, don't leave your drinks and please don't let him/her offer to take you home. I am sure you are thinking 'she is really weird and crazy! Why is she using him/her?' Ahhhhh, I am not crazy ooo, men and women rape ooo.

I heard a true life story of a girl, who was raped right in front of her gate (in the car) by a stranger who offered her a lift and my heart bled. Who would have imagined she could get raped right in front of her own house, in a car (for that matter) and she couldn't scream for help. All I am saying is take a cab, better still my brother and sister, enter bus biko!

If you will drink, please drink carefully. Don't drink heavily, go home with the man/lady, allow him/her strip you naked and rape you (it will break my heart). Many people have fallen victims of rape as a result.

With all these said, all of us at Stand To EndRape Initiative are wishing you a lovely celebration. Don't be a statistic. Stay sharp, stay SAFE! 

This is My Story

Hello everyone, sorry I have been quiet on the blog (tooo many things to do, e mabinu!) Someone recently sent her story to me and I felt it's worth sharing. I hope every reader learns one or two things from this. It's high time our university students learn to take note of certain signs, inroder not to fall victims. Please read, share and also drop your comments. Your comments keeps me going :).
Read more below...

It was a Sunday night. We were all going for a pool party: me and two of my friends. We had to do last minute shopping for bikinis which took all the time so we missed the party. We were so pissed and decided to go have drinks with friends. On getting there, they were all in the karaoke groove. We joined in and had loads of fun. 

The guy my friends were with seemed very interested in the 3 of us because we seemed to be having all the fun. We kept dancing and he kept promising to buy us stuff. (we were just in 100 level). 

We were so excited!!!

My Message to Survivors by Abimbola Abiola

In line with our upcoming project "Rape Survivors Network," which is targetted at building the confidence of other victims of rape, we have an article to encourage all rape survivors out there. Read and heal the more. If you need someone to speak to, remember @StandtoEndRape is always there to speak with you. Read more...

I've been sitting here for about an hour thinking of how best to start this. Sometimes I  wish people can see the pain of rape instead of reading through words. But then the only way they can and will ever know is if we open our mouths and talk about it or pick up our pens and write about it. For rape survivors it takes courage.

Embracing your courage isn't easy and might hurt us initially. Many of us have been there and at that time we were afraid the hurt will never end..It did, we broke free and healed!

How to End a Rape Attempt in Seconds!

This is a very informative video. It teaches women and girls basic techniques they need to save themselves in rape situations. It's easy. As simple as a kick, a jab, a push, a slap seem, it could save you from being a victim of rape. Watch the video to know how it works, you'll be surprised. #BeEnlightened.

Violet by MissLara Oriye

"Leave me alone" she screamed. As she pulled the remaining of her shredded clothes to cover her naked body. "I begged you" she yelled "I did but you chose to do it anyway". "You treat me like shit and that's not cool". "Just so you know, this is the last time you will ever see me naked its over I'm leaving this marriage!

Violet motioned toward her closet she began to pick her clothes and dump into a suit case almost blindly. She decided to move in with her aunt up the street for some time.

She heard the door slam! " I will kill you" bobo shouted, I will kill you before you make a Mockery of me, the world will see me as a weak guy who cannot control his woman, you go nowhere except I say so. I'm not done using you when I am, I will let you know"!