It's getting hard to fight. I feel defeated. I don't want to break down. I don't want to mess anything up. I want it to feel right to be alright. I thought that with time, it all was going to get better, it has not. I am so scared.
I have been feeling as if I have been fighting a battle with myself. I have always been a perfectionist in everything I do. I have always carried well, no matter what. I always smile even if I am dying on the inside. I have control over everything, who I trust, who I let into my life and how I want to be treated. No one can control me or my emotions. I control when I cry and how much I cry. No one will ever be allowed to hurt me or make me feel vulnerable ever again, because I have control over my life and who enters into it. Poised, prim and proper, the smile; the many faces of perfection.
